Mel Collie | My Top Diet Tip

Mel Collie | My Top Diet Tip

 

 Have you seen the date? Its not only nearly Christmas, its not that long to New Years Eve and those New Years Resolutions.

Most of us are already aiming to joining a  gym or workout more in Januarys after eating all those goodies over the holidays. Those “New Year New You” adverts will start to come out, though whatever would inspire you not to be you in the first place is beyond understanding, because you are you, and thats unique, how lovely is that?  Anyway…

With that in mind , this is my nos 1 top Diet tip, that I use all the time since I started teaching Bootcamps a couple of years ago, studied meditation, studied nutrition, studied neuroscience, read all the books I could get my hands on that covered all those things as if I was trying to find the answer .

Theres so many diet types out there, so many people telling us to eat this, eat that, dont drink that, dont eat that, take this supplement, dont do that exercise, dont meditate, do meditate, etc etc…makes you stop and change all the time, your inner self has no idea whats going on and is very confused, so gives up and tells you its digging its heels in until you stop messing about and do something it can understand.

This is it…are you ready…drum roll…

1. Be Happy .

Thats it

Did you groan then and look up to the heavens?

Good :)

So , imagine a person who goes to the gym in January, trains hard, works hard, feels pulled from all directions, hates working out, stands at the back of the class because they dont feel they fit in with the “clicky” crew at the front of the class, feels awkward in the gym, doesnt really know what to do but beats themselves up

the joy you feel moving towards your potential

Joy experience in ups and down.

when the crap happens

when the sleep doesnt come

when the cravings happen

when the dips stay

its all growth

Happiness isnt all red roses and smiles and rainbows.

The crap is all a part of your path.

Embrace it, step back and see it for what it is.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcolliewellness.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

 

Mel Collie | 3 ways to cope with stress levels this Christmas

Mel Collie | 3 ways to cope with stress levels this Christmas

The words stress and Christmas are hard to write in the same sentence, unless is “stress free”  or  “reduce stress”. You know deep down that Christmas is supposed to be joyful time of celebration and remembering friends and family, helping others, yet each year we place an unmanageable amount of stress on ourselves… why is that and how can we help ourselves reduce or at least cope with it?

Heres my 3 ways, I hope at least one of them helps you out this year.

1. Stress is ultimately a reaction to our thoughts, that means we have thoughts that arent in line with what we want or who we are deep down. Our anxieties about what others expect from us are from our thoughts . We are worried about not having enough food on the table, the right food that looks and tastes good, worried about not spending enough on presents, worried about not being a Scrooge, worried about appearances, being judged for our decisions, worried about money. We are all the same with our worries and concerns.  Recognising that its our own thoughts we have from beliefs we have from our upbringing or from peers that create such stresses. Step back and look at what it is you are anxious about this Christmas. Is it the same as last year? How did that go? Did you hate every minute of it? Is that true? Is it really true? How would this year be different without that thought. Without those thoughts of “It wont be good enough, I dont have enough, I cant do enough, they will not like me, they will judge me, I have to buy this or they wont speak to me again.”

How do you know thats all true? Really, do you know it to be true?

Where would you be without all those words in your mind?

Now for he hard bit … turn it all around…maybe YOU wont like you if you don’t do all that stuff, maybe you will feel like you have let yourself down, maybe you are doing all of this because its the way you believe it should be, maybe its not “them” who create your worry, maybe its YOU beliefs and values you hold so dear that are stressing you. Take a few moments to look inside your mind and your beliefs and values.

Are YOU important to you?

2. A great calming influence is a nice cup of tea..but wait a sec, not just a cup of Typhoo….I mean a hormonal calming tea, one that really does do what it says on the tin. Tulsi Tea is made from a plant in India called Holy Basil. So if you want some holy stuff around you this Christmas, drink some Holy Basil. It calms your innermost critic. Helps you calm and reduce Cortisol, so drink it from about 12.00 – 8pm when Cortisol should naturally be dropping, but our “modern” lifestyle of lights on when dark and working late, means it stays unnaturally high. Help your body help your demands of it.

Heres some more information on the benefits of Tulsi: http://organicindia.mercola.com/tulsi-tea.aspx

3. Rhodiola – yes, another herb! I’m such a hippy! I am one of those “must get on with it” people, always rusching about and doing something, but to my own personal detriment, and especially my healths. Many times I’ve been run down, especially when I worked in London, working from 6am to 9 pm most days. When I left the “rat race” to live somewhere beautiful, away from concrete blocks of flats and loads of shops (Croydon – though the parks are lovely!) I ended up in Cornwall, originally hailing from Brighton, I love being by the sea, I feel less claustrophobic having all that open space of just looking out and seeing sea, not seeing houses.

But, you get used to life around you (in other words, you bring the same stresses with you because they are in your own head)  and it wasnt long that I was doing more stuff and stressing about a mortgage and a house and starting up a business teaching Pilates. When I went on a course to study the Endocrine System, Nutrition and Fitness, I practiced what I was preaching and changed my diet of white bread, pasta and cheese to a diet of eggs, greens, chicken, stir frys, water (I didnt drink any, now it 2 – 3 litres a day) herbal teas instead of coffee  (Tulsi Tea of course!) and a supplement called Rhodiola. In a bottle with a pipette, dropping a few of this herb solution into water in the morning, and I was calm and could cope with the day. Its a bit like Tulsi Tea I suppose. It helps your mood, helps cope with depression, alleviates mental fatigue. Your health food shop will sell it.

 

There you go, just 3 little miracle workers for you. But theres one more thats totally free,and you do it everyday, and that is sleep, good quality sleep. Your natural clock wants to slow down and rest when it gets dark, and wake up when it gets light, its all it knows. The same runs true for plants and flowers, animals and funghi.

Our life now tells us to be awake longer and sleep less, with more electrical stuff in our rooms like a TV and mobile, affecting sleep, we have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.

Heres a few tips to help you as they helped me, i was rubbish at falling asleep, took me at least an hour to get to sleep, no matter what time I went to bed , regularly waking during the night.

1. Sleep in the darkest room you can – get a blackout blind if there is a street light outside annoying you. Turn off the TV from the wall. Turn the digital clock around so the glow isn’t affecting you.

2. Move the Mobile. Put your phone outside you room or turn it off. If you use it for an alarm you will still hear it if its outside your bedroom door. If thats not possible, buy a proper alarm clock and turn off your mobile, its radiation waves affect your sleep patterns.

3. Don’t drink caffeine after 12.00, it stays in your body for a very long time, affecting your sleep rhythm and your bodies natural ability to heal itself. Get on the Tulsi Tea!

4. Unwind, or are you thinking that checking facebook or emals before you sleep will help you relax? You really arent missing anything, so dont check your messages after 9.30pm, the light from the laptop/mobile will stimulate your brain into thinking its time to wake up. Have a hot bath, light those candles, relax. Kids have a bedtime routine, why dont you?

 

Its down to you to make this time of year one that you will enjoy, its no one elses responsibility, they are way to busy rushing around the shops to think about you, be awrae of that if you worry about what others will think of you, what they think of you is truly none of your business, in a warm and kind way, that means, that its none of your business because they have their own worries, the same as yours, and if they do judge you, it will be for a fleeting moment, not for the whole day or longer. their judgements are outward reflections of their inward troubles.  When I watch a programme like Jeremy Kyle, for example, I see a complaining person who inside, doesnt like themselves, not the other person they are shouting at, but who hasnt seen themselves for the beautiful person they really are, I see a confused person.

A person who you think judges you, has their own problems to deal with being kind to themselves. A person who I think is judging me, I feel sorry for, because they are not liking themselves very much, you never get attacked by a person who is more successful than you.  I no longer worry about what they think of me, I used to, used to be a people pleaser, always worries about what others thought of me, tried to be liked by everyone, but thats not going to always be the case. Look after yourself first. Always. Fit your own oxygen mask before fitting others.

Be healthy and enjoy looking after yourself, its not a selfish act, well, it is in a way, but , no one else cares about your health, well-being and future days on the planet than your own self. So, believe in yourself, take one small step towards loving yourself from within, because when you do, you are then going to be there 100% for others who you wolld love to help out and then share your story on how you combat stress this Christmas, and well into the new year too.

Your wellbeing is for life, not just for Christmas.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcolliewellness.co.uk

www.melcollie.co.uk

 

 

 

 

mel collie | How many times a day ?

mel collie | How many times a day ?

If I asked you what movement or exercise you did the most per day you might say that you walk a lot, or that you sit a lot because of your job and that prevented you from exercising as much as you would like to..But you wouldn’t consider that breathing is the most common movement pattern we perform everyday – we all breathe about 25,000 times a day…thats a lot isnt it?

Many of us breathe shallow quick breaths, and maybe because of sitting, injuries, fear, anxieties, our breathing changes,our rib position affected, many a section of our rib cage that doesnt move as effectively as the other side for example.

Rib mechanics can easily be checked and altered in a matter of seconds.

However, without doing an assessment on you personally, heres what you can do to help your breathing improve:

Lie down on your back, knees bent, pillow under the head so you are comfortable.

Place one hand on your belly, between the navel and the pubic bone.

Place the other hand on the part of the upper chest by the collarbone, as you breathe see which hand moves first.

Is it the top hand?

For most of us it is as we use the smaller shoulder and neck muscles to breathe, instead of utilising the diaphragm

Now imagine the lower hand is a heavy book, use the tummy to push the book up to the ceiling as you breathe in, and lower it as you breathe out, no need to suck the tummy in, just breathe.

Practice for 10 breaths, 4 times a day, without squeezing your bum or clenching you jaw or moving your shoulders off the floor.

The diaphragm is an often overlooked muscle in training but s simple breathing exercise can bring it back to life simply and effectively to help improve posture, balance, strength and confidence.

Mel

x

Balance Confidence is a new course starting in Portreath, Cornwall on Monday Dec 8th at 7.30pm. You can sign up here: https://v1.bookwhen.com/melcollie

We are only taking 10 people on the first course and its at a lower cost than it will be when launched in 2015, so come along and have more confidence in your walking, running and vitality.

 

mel collie| are you surrounded by idiots?

mel collie| are you surrounded by idiots?

I dont man that title of this blog post to be rude, you may take offence to it, if you do take offence though,  do you also take offence to people around you who tell you that you are stupid, shouldnt be doing that, why arent you doing this, shouldnt you be wearing that, why are you wearing that at your age, im sure you should be slowing down at your time in life, shouldnt you be eating that?

Advice…is it advice? …can be debilitating, overwhelming…negative..

When you listen to others opinions, even if they think they are well meaning, well, they can stop you in your tracks and doubt yourself from taking the next step forward.

Surround yourself with positivity, positive places, people, food, stuff that makes you happy, not stuff that makes someone else happy.

When you start to do that, your life falls into place.piece by piece, like a jigsaw.

When I sold my house earlier this year, I had my doubt and fears, loosing the security of it, but its all a story I believed from listening to how we should be living our lives as we grow older. Its all a story.

I’m still here, living, enjoying life, with a lot less stress. (no more B & Q on Sundays! yay!)

I’m now training for the 3 Peaks challenge in 2015.

Walking up Snowdon, Scafell Pike & Ben  Nevis in no more than 24 hours.

Knowing that this has been done many times before comes as no surprise but knowing others have done it in 12 hours, is daunting, makes you think ..well..I might fail, I might not do it in 24 hours, what if I dont, what will people think of me, what if..

..all those thoughts stop you in your tracks..stop you ..from being you.  And when you see they are just thoughts, that arent true, because you dont know the end result, until you try it…

Who would I be without those negative thoughts? Id be walking up those peaks and I would be training every day, without fail, and looking forward to the next trekking challenge

Who would you be without your negative thoughts? What if…?

Mel

x

Balance Confidence is a new course starting in Portreath, Cornwall on Monday night at 7.30 . Using your eyes and head movement to strengthen your balance, posture, leg strength, core and breathing, it certainly helped me stay on my feet as I walk 6 – 10 miles a day up and down the cliff paths . Contact me for more info: 07800797300 or just book in.

https://v1.bookwhen.com/melcollie

Mel Collie | Three ways to overcome Fear

Mel Collie | Three ways to overcome Fear

 

Earlier this year I sold my 4 bed 200 year old house, which I loved, but after a split in a  relationship, it was time to sell the house, which was far too big for me, and downsize, have less money worries and more time for me. So here I am, a few months later, working less hours, even though I’m fortunate to absolutely love what I do, I dont have to work every morning and every evening and worry about paying a rather large mortgage.

The time came that even though I now teach only a couple of Pilates classes a week, I needed a challenge for me.

So after checking out a few charity websites, I decided on a trekking challenge. My bloke mentioned the 3 peaks challenge which sounded like fun, and a great way to see those 3 peaks, the views, and get fit at the same time, we drew up a training programme which meant I would be walking, a lot .every day (currently at week 3 of training and walking about 6 miles a day, ( 10 miles today though) and circuit training for extra stamina using weights and interval training .

Now, I am the same as you, and have my doubts and when the fears creep in, I can easily convince myself that it isn’t important, I can slow the training down, in fact I can do it and not train at all, but you know what?

I’m training, not just for this challenge, but for future trekking challenges I want to do, like an Icelandic and a Sahara desert trek :)

Its interesting when you have a deadline each day to see how hard you can push yourself and if you do listen to that negative voice in your head telling you to stop, telling you to go no further, telling you that you are crazy and its nicer to sit at home and be comfortable.

well, yes it is :)

But , thats listening to the voice of the fear of failure, the voice that tells you that others will judge you a failure if you cant do something, even if you fail once, that it, you are a failure at everything.

What a load of rubbish

Its those who fail, pick themselves up and go again that are the ones who are the strongest, those who have had the struggles are the ones most qualified to help others.

Many times we ask ourselves – can I do this? What if I fail? What will people think of me?

Heres what I think:

1.Accept that you will fail and that fear of failure is normal, everyone has it, even the most successful people will have the “what if ” brain chatter.

2.Fear will stop you from doing what you want to do, fear that others will ridicule you, make fun of you, laugh at you when really they also face the same fears you do, they too fear all those things like you do, but you are listening to the loud voice that tells you not to make a fool of yourself , and you play it small, missing out on stuff you want to do or showing everyone who you really are, your unique characteristics .

3. Fear is the only thing to fear. It is circular, it comes back that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, its your brains way of trying to keep you alive, these responses are evolutionary from a time you could get killed by just walking outside – animals with big sabre teeth, poisonous berries , other cave men wanting to kill and steal our meat etc – we now live in a  time where those responses aren’t necessary – fear and hate are hooked together,   we’ve been bought up in a warm cosy house, TV, food in the fridge, cosy bed, food in the supermarkets,  and so the fears become twisted, fear of spiders for example, your brain has to have something to exercise its fight flight response, fear is a realisation, its just that, if you realise you are afraid of something you are no longer afraid of it, the thought is irrational.

Once you realise a fear is unfounded, it should be banished forever. Its not an irrational thought, its the most rational thing, the modern fears are unfounded, thats the difference.

Life is easy and not as dangerous as it used to be, the brain, a product of millions of years of evolutionary process to purely keep us alive (fight or flight) cant just shut down, so we look for things to be frightened of.

This will manifest in worries and fears of how we look, what others will think of us, fears our brain makes up to keep its software running and current.

Ask yourself :

Is my fear rational?

Is it a product of my flight/fight mind?

Can I realise it ?

The people who don’t feel fear can be seen as just daydreamers.

Zen.Fear is the absence of Zen.

Once you realise that, there is no going back

Mel Collie

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

 

Mel Collie | Would you like an easy way to improve your balance?

Mel Collie | Would you like an easy way to improve your balance?

Balance – when we grow up our balance starts to falter, we become less steady on our feet, less secure about crossing the road, unsure about walking down the stairs, heights scare us, worried when we are in a crowd , fear of being knocked over, missing the step up onto the bus, fear of breaking a bone that will take ages to heal.

Would you like an easy way to get your balance back?

Ive seen, and tried, many ways to train balance, but many of them involve you standing on a wobbly surface.

Now , since Ive been on the planet, the ground beneath my feet isnt wobbly, its perfectly sound and hard, no wobbles in sight, so I wouldnt choose to put you on a wobbly surface to improve your already unsure balance system.

The science bit

The inner ear – the vestibular system on the inner ear is responsible for your balance.

It works with your visual system, your eyes, it keeps objects in focus as your head moves. So it makes sense, don’t you think, to use exercises to help your balance improve by usng your eyes and your head movements, simple moves, easily followed. Much easier for you if your balance is already a bit shaky , as these easy moves can be done seated or even lying down, standing by a wall or chair.

Im looking for you if your balance needs a little bit of help, a new course for only 10 people starts Monday at 7.30pm in Portreath church hall. The course content includes your individual assessment on Monday 8th, with very simple exercises for you to do at home 4 times before we meet up again the following Monday to go over the week ahead. Then you will be given links to follow homework 3 – 4 times a week for the next 3 weeks, always staying in touch with me with any questions and to see how you are getting on.

This is a new course, and will be £79  in 2015, but for the first group of 10 people who join in December, the investment is just £59.00 as long as you write a testimonial at the end of the course which I can publish on my website to help others see the potential and ability to get back your balance easily by using your brain.

The booking link is here or message me at mel.collie@live.co.uk or text/call 07800797300

https://v1.bookwhen.com/melcollie


If you prefer a more personable approach, my 1:1 Balance training course of 3 sessions £ £195 includes:

3 sessions of 1:1 one hour sessions plus a follow on 4 skype calls to assess your progress. You will also receive links to videos to help you continue the programme at home, as this improves your balance for life, this simple programme involves you doing 15 minutes 4 times a week.

To take part and start your balance improvement contact me

mel.collie@live.co.uk

07800797300

 

mel collie | inner ear balance

would you like to improve your balance easily and quickly

 

Mel Collie |Are your actions in line with who you want to be?

Mel Collie |Are your actions in line with who you want to be?

 

I’ve recently started to train for a challenge, and its made me think about a few things…its made me wonder about actions, excuses and if you are actually stuck in a rut, what are you going to do about it? Expect others to help you out? Blame others for not helping you out? Blame the weather?

When I ran Bootcamp sessions, clients started out with great intentions, then the excuses started to come in…why?because life got in the way..the excuses started to come in.

So,when I started to train for the Three Peaks Challenge, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was looking for something to challenge me, a fitness and health related challenge, to get me off my bum, away from the TV, out in the fresh air, and to earn money for a charity at the same time.

I researched a few charity websites  and their organised challenges, a couple of them I might do next year, but when I chatted to my other half about them, he mentioned the challenge he had done 3 times, the Three Peaks. I knew nothing about this, and when he explained all about it , and that he would help train me, I decided I would go for it.

Week one looked like this:

Monday: 30 minute weights intensity training

Tuesday: 3 mile walk

Wednesday 5 mile walk

Thursday 6 miles

Friday Interval Training with weights

Saturday 6.8 miles

Sunday Day off, bouldering by the sea.

This week looks like this:

Monday 4 hour walk, 40 minute ice skating, 30 minute interval training.

Tuesday 5 mile walk

Wednesday – 4.5 mile walk

Thursday – Interval Training

Friday – 10 mile walk

Saturday – 10 mile walk

Sunday Day off.

I have got a plan for weeks 3 – 10, but I wont bore you with them, however…Tuesday morning, I found I was knackered after such a long day, the 4 hour walk was around the Eden project here in Cornwall, followed by the ice skating session, which Im rubbish at,, but its such a laugh, and thats important, we don’t laugh enough!

Anyway, Tuesday morning, I could’ve had a lie in, I could’ve made excuses, I could’ve told my self ” ah well, you can train tomorrow, its not important, you’ve done quite a bit already, do more next week”

Great excuses, for some, a bit like calling in sick when you cant be bothered. I recognised those excuses, they are just thoughts..

I got my walking boots on and took myself off for a long walk, a strenuous walk, as humans, we are capable of walking at about 3 miles per hour, I was aiming for 4, with a few steep up hill ascents along the way and some great scenary too, my mindset about half way into the walk was ” take a short cut here, go back early” , tempting, but I ignored it, and went on further, reminding myself of why I started this in the first place, the action I would have to do, everyday, to achieve it, and visualising the outcome.

Excuses are just thoughts.

Thoughts …what are they.. they are just thoughts, there to challenge you, to steer you off course, to help you, to keep you stuck, the trick is to embrace the thoughts, step back and see them for what they are, have no atachment to them, sounds tricky?

Try this :

When you have a thought, like I had the though ” you dont want to do a walk today, you are too tired”

I ask ” is that true?”

If the answer comes back as NO, then I get on with the walk, if the answer comes back as Yes, I challenge it, “Really? is it really true?”

Well, no it isn’t, I’m not exhausted, the human body is designed to move, a lot, all day, every day, we do more harm  by doing less.

When Ive challenged my thought, I then ask myself ” who would I be without that thought?”

…and thats the crux of it all…I would be me, doing what I said I would be doing, training for a challenge for charity, I would be happier, content having achieved what I set out to achieve.

It takes work

It means showing up every day

But whats the alternative?

Staying the same…being happy with average. If thats where you are at and are happy with that, then thats ok.

If you arent, then its down to you to show up and do what you said you were going to do.Do the work. Be the change .

If it was easy, then everyone would be doing it. Truth is, they arent  :)

However,when you are following your desire, your passion, questioning your thoughts, doing the work, you find your path, it becomes easy, because taking the alternative of pain, discomfort, frustration, becomes second best.

Arent you better than settling for that?

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

References: Byron Katie – the Work.

Mel Collie | Bloated?

Mel Collie | Bloated?

Most of us nowadays are stressed and rushing around, eating food on the go, not chewing our food well, feeling bloated and tired, anxious and depressed with obesity on the increase too…. can we help ourselves by starting with the simple things, by looking at how we eat.

When we are constantly day after day stressed and anxious, spinning many plates, eating on the run, doing many things all at once, your sympathetic nervous system (fight and flight) is in dominance , which leads to IBS, digestive issues, skin disorders,sleep issues, anxieties, low calcium absorption, low uptake of minerals in the food you eat, low selenium, increased bacterial infections increase, feelings of overwhelm, reaching for bad food choices.

Stress slows down the digestive system, the parasympathetic(rest and digest)  nervous system never gets a chance, it shuts down, affecting digestion and our ability to rest.

Do you actually schedule a time for breakfast, lunch and dinner, do you really make time for yourself to take time out of your stressful routine when it comes to meal times? or do you grab a sandwich and eat it in the car, walking down the street, or skipping lunch and snacking at your desk in the afternoon?

When you eat your food, chew it well, without the TV on, in a calming and peaceful happy environment, away from the computer/i-pad, away from social media and the noise of the TV and the distraction of the mobile.  This might seem impossible sometimes if the kids are driving you crazy, but, with some patience, meals at the table with no mobiles or tvs on is possible, mobiles and TV’s just  distract you and mean you chew less and dont even notice the food being eaten, which in turn can lead to you feeling more hungry and eating more food.

Just this simple thing can make a massive difference to your digestion, your health and wellness. You will find you sleep better, your good digestive bacteria increases, constipation decreases, increases the chances of your gut healing, helps your mood and decreases anxieties as theres a connection from the brain to the gut.

Also, a benefit to your digestive system is to eat fats – we tend to think fats are bad for us and we will get fat if we eat fats, but ..fat helps your brain, Omega 3 is brilliant, fish for example, or a really good quality fish oil, avocados are a good source of fats too. Omega 6 fats need to be kept lower, we dont need as much Omega 6 as we do Omega 3. So keep the overall eating of nuts to a handful a day, and change from sunflower/rapeseed/canola oil to coconut oil or olive oil or ghee.

When your digestion is your priority, your whole self benefits. The mood hormone, Seratonin, is produced in your gut, 80% of it, but not when your digestion isnt working well.

1. Eat slowly, your mouth helps your gut, digestion starts in the mouth, not the stomach.

2. Enjoy your mood as you eat your food, smile, laugh, eat with people you like to spend time with.

3. Lower grains/bread and dairy consumption, gluten and dairy (milk/cake/biscuits/cheese) can all aggravate the gut absorption of minerals, and increase anxieties and depression.

4. Take time out to eat your meals, slow down, eating is your time, not work time.

Love the good fats. Love your belly without the bloat.

 

Mel Collie

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

Mel Collie | Are you always right?

Mel Collie | Are you always right?

I am one of those types of people that believes their version of life is the right version, I believe that I can be extremely stubborn, my mums like it (love you mum!) so was her mum and so was her mum, so maybe its hereditary!

But…for a while now, through relaxation techniques Ive adopted over the past couple of years , I’ve recognised this is a stressful thing for me, and I dont like it, I dont like the friction it can bring and confrontation that can occur as a result of having to be right.

What if there is no right or wrong?.

Right from the beginning of our life on Earth, we are taught the difference between right and wrong, which helps us to see the right way, and can steer us towards our beliefs and values.

However when we grow up we harbour those feelings of being bad or naughty , and they become our daily habits. We continually judge ourselves when we are being, what we perceive, as bad, telling ourselves off for not sticking to a healthy habit like eating more vegetables and less sugar for example, for not exercising more, for not being good enough, for not keeping up with the neighbours.

When we fail, we feel bad, it can spiral out of control, and lead us to binge eating or purging, hiding away and ignoring our feelings

Feeling shame and not sharing our story

My kind of liberation from the chains of right or wrong, good or bad, came when I read “Conversation with God Book 1 – 3 “by Neale Donald Walsch , and “Dying to be me” by Anita Moorjani

My lessons learned and understood are that we are all equal, all part of a tapestry, all the same.

We all fear the same things, all feel shame and, we all worry what others think of us, when we act out our “should have done that” or” could’ve said that” , or, “it would’ve been like that if only I had…”

All regret, all based on fear, all based on what we perceive as right, wrong, good, bad.

All perceptions. Core beliefs.

I went to sunday school when I was little .It was a common belief that you had the fear of God put into you if you were bad…who was to decide whats good or bad in the first place, is it based on their own principles? Their own core beliefs?

Who says eating a whole bag of Revels is bad? (ok, every day maybe….)
Who says that not drinking 3 litres of water a day is bad?
Who says that having a couple of cups of coffee a day is bad?
Arent we all unique, our own unique cells and fluids of lymph and blood circulating inside of us..we all react differently to the foods we eat and the environment surrounding us.

So, when you look at good and bad, as I was taught at Sunday school, God will punish you if you are bad, does that mean he will punish me for eating all those Revels? (especially the Orange ones, they are my favourite – take note Revel people, and start selling them on their own..:) )

Punished if you dont pray to him every night
Punished if you sin and have sex before you are married ..
Punished if you accidentally tread on an ant
Punished if you swear
Punished if you arent serving God
Punish you if you dont eat fish on a Friday or say grace before eating.

Really?…all these values are expressed and taught so we actually begin to FEAR the very person who is the higher self? Is that what religion is based on…fear?

Do you believe that to be true? If you sin , then God will punish you?
Doesnt that make God a person (kind of) who judges us?
Why would God judge you? – isnt that what he DOESNT want us to do, judge ourselves? Then why would he judge us?

If God has values then aren’t  “we all doomed ” (in a Dads Army type voice!)

In CWG book 3, Neale writes, “God has no values.”
Which makes sense doesn’t it?

For example, if you believe he does have values, then you believe he will say this to you – “You did this, and I wanted you to do that, so now you must be punished.”

Can you imagine that happening to the people that God created.

Thats you and me…

So, your values, as long as they are value-able to you, right here and now, they serve you, then they are value-able.

Do what works
Choose what is right or wrong by what works

Love
Gratitude
Peace

….all work

Killing
Fighting
War
Hatred
Judging each other and ourselves

…dont work

Choose what works.

Choose Love for the self and for others
Gratitude for what you have
Feel the peace that comes with those 2 things

Bliss..:)

Can we do that?

I did, (wasnt easy at times!) and saw changes around me, and even though I do, sometimes, feel a little bit naughty for missing a meditation session or eating those Orange Revels, I care a little less about those guilty feelings as they are let go with love, so yes, I feel love more, I feel less shame, and feel more gratitude for what I do have, definitely live more in peace and theres less anger and fear.

That saying is true, be the change you want to see in the world, it begins with you, your thoughts, your values, your choices that serve you, that are value-able.

Help and serve yourself first, then you are in the best position to help and serve others.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

Mel Collie | Anxious & Stuck? Breathe…

Mel Collie | Anxious & Stuck? Breathe…

 

Isnt it annoying when someone tells you to just relax…especially when you are stressed, busy, feel anxious, cant seem to find a way out of the circles you rush around in

Whats going on and how can you help yourself?

Lets have a look deep inside your system, the autonomic nervous system (ANS) which controls the functions to maintain life. The ANS has 3 systems, two of which I will discuss here , that cannot work at the same time, its one or the other, and as these systems can be out of balance which can affect your stress levels, breathing, mindset, digestion, immune system, inflammation, anxiety..

So lets first look at the PNS:

PNS – that stands for your Parasympathetic Nervous System.
This is your rest and rebuild system. One of its jobs are to be responsible for your digestion and repair of your body and elimination of waste and toxins. To help it, relaxation, de stress, healthy eating, quiet times.

SNS – that stands for your Sympathetic Nervous System
This is also known as your fight or flight system. It prepares your body to fight or flee, run from a threat or danger.

Are they out of balance?

When the SNS is dominant you will probably be feeling anxious, stressed, drinking caffeine and eating processed foods and sugar. Maybe over training at the gym and not recovering or resting. The SNS requres delivery of the blood to the muscles which means that it takes it away from your centre,from the digestion. Thats why they recommend you dont exercise after eating . If this happens, one symptom you may have will be constipation as the digestion will be poor.

SNS dominance can also show up as you waking up feeling as though you havent slept well, sweating at night, feeling anxious, stress from financial issues, over-eating (especially processed foods that fail to nourish you with minerals and vitamins) , lack of sex or passion in your relationship through either your reduced desire (Too busy, too tired?) or you move towards the other end of the scale and have too much sex but with little connection with your partner- or who ever you are with.

We can suffer from many of the all at once cant we..feeling tired, worried about the mortgage, worried about deadlines at work, drinking a lot of coffee to stay awake, reaching for toast and sandwiches and pasta for quick and easy solutions for food, no time for sex, shallow breathing, bad digestion, constant colds and inflammation, feeling anxious…its not hard to see that many of us can be stuck in a dominant Sympathetic Nervous System.

So, what can you do about it?

1. Exercise. But the right kind. Find relaxing exercise like Yoga or Pilates, going for walks in the woods or on the beach, Tai Chi, reduce time in the gym. If you find that training hard is getting you nowhere, no results, try and change your routine for exercise thats not as harsh on your system. You might not like it, but you will begin to see results. This is what they mean when they tell you to listen to your body. Listen, then act. The more your ignore your bodies cries for help, the more it will persist.

2. Breathing . Focus on deep breathing, slowly, from the diaphragm and not from dominating your breathing from the chest

3. Nutrition. Choosing fruits and vegetables over pasta, bread, sugar, ready meals. Eat great fresh food 5 or 6 times a week, have one day off, see what happens. You may need to eat well 7 days a week to move a little more to your PNS system.

4. Meditate. Quieten the mind from the negativity and the chatter in your head which can lead to stress, negativity, taking on too much, reducing your self worth so never saying “No” to work which will increase your workload and stress. Meditation will help you remain calm and focused. Use it like a dentist or doctors appointment – never miss a session, even if its for a minute.

5. Quiet Time – quiet time at the end of the day reading a book, having a bath, turn off the TV (the News can be stressful..) talk to your partner, have a cuddle.

6. Care for yourself. Take care of yourself with regular massage. Find someone local who can offer you a special deal – buy 5 get one free for example, as an incentive to keep you going. The aromatherapy oils , the touch you feel, all help relax and reduce stress in the mind as well as the body, boosts the immune system, increase wellness and vitality through relaxation.

We are all different, what works for one wont work for another.

If you recognise that you are SNS dominant, make a couple of changes, thats all, just start by picking one for 7 days to adopt, if it all seems overwhelming at first, then take time to see what happens, what changes.

Some of us may only require a couple of small changes, others may require more, one size doesnt fit all, you find what works for you.

Enjoy creating your own sunshine.

Mel Collie
x

References: Paul Check – July 2013 newsletter. Paul Check – How to Eat Move & Be Healthy.
Byron Robinson. The Abdominal & Pelvic Brain (free to download and read http://archive.org/stream/abdominalandpel00robigoog#page/n2/mode/2up)
Deepak Chopra – Super Brain
Norman Doidge – The Brain that Changes itself