Mel Collie | Unique or Fit In?

Mel Collie  |  Unique or Fit In?

After watching two films on the i-player this week(We need to talk about Kevin & I am Love)  with Tilda Swinton as the leading female role, I noticed how different she is from the mainstream actresses out there , past and present.

Many actresses we see portrayed with full make up,looking and acting a certaim way, just like everyone else.

Now look at Tilda.

tilda swinton

 

Wow, how must she have felt when she was growing up in a marketing world of “you should look like this to be a success”, when she looked the opposite. Look at how successful she has been in just being her.

 

Which are you ?

Are you trying to fit in and be like everyone else, or be the opposite and just be yourself.

Happy being you or happy being in?

Do you feel alignment with yourself when you are doing your own thing, that means, do you feel happy, calm, at peace, joy, life just happens around you.

Or do you feel pressured, struggle for money, health problems, feel like you are missing something.

We are all aware that photos are Photoshopped, messed about with, they aren’t true to life, yet we still compare and believe the advertisers stories, because stories resonate with us.

Could you stop buying the stories?

For 1 week, stop buying the papers, magazines, watching the TV, but instead, spend time with just yourself.

Being just you.

Doing what brings you a passion and laughter and love.

Happiness, is that more important than conforming, does it bring you more love , calm and inner clarity?

Let me know.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

 

Mel Collie | Your Balance

Mel Collie |  Your Balance

 

Can you name all of your senses?

They are a bit like housework, no one knows you’ve actually done any until you don’t do it..

No one really knows their senses until we lose them..

Balance is one of them. The Vestibular system , the sensory apparatus for the balance system, giving you your sense of orientation in space, it a very important sense to have.

But we lose our sense of balance, at any age, but its very common as we get older.

Its fixable, but it requires daily work from you to help strengthen your balance but also your strength.

With 3 semi circular canals in the inner ear telling us where we are in space, if we are upright or not (which is why we can get motion sickness) , each movement in each plane of the 3 canals requires a corresponding adjustment in the rest of the body.

A healthy vestibular system has a strong link to the visual system. Its all linked, as everything affects everything, your balance may be affected if your vision is also blurry or not as sharp as it once was.

Without having to do complicated and time consuming balance homework, this is an easy to follow takes seconds to do session for you.

To be done three times a day:

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

Mel Collie | What is mindfulness?

Mel Collie  |  What is mindfulness?

 

At the end of a stressful day do you reach for:

Cigarettes/coffee/chocolate/biscuits/donuts/crisps/wine – or all of those plus a few more.

Stress is a word that everyone seems to be suffering from. But what exactly is it and what can you do about it? Why can understanding it and use mindfulness change your reactions?

1. Your brain , essentially, has 2 parts (it has more, but for this article, I’m keeping it short & sweet). For the basis of the article, I’m talking about pre frontal cortex and the oldest part of our brain, the reptilian brain.When we are stressed, our brain is only interested in survival, that’s all. It doesn’t have time to reason with itself. Its not interested in your diet or that you had  wine last night, its reactive.

So wen you reach for the wine etc your reptilian brain is talking t you. The stress can come from work, family, finance, relationships etc.

Anywhere, even sitting at the computer reading website articles, as some of those make you feel inadequate, maybe you should be as clever as the person who writes the articles, creates the online programmes, makes the cakes in the photos , have the perfect hips and cleavage, have a 6 pack and the perfect house and kids, an awesome car…

Keeping up with the neighbours is stressful.

You react by numbing the pain, and thats where the sugar and wine come in.

2. Mindfulness means you are aware. When you have an awareness, you can see the patterns emerging. You can begin to understand your triggers, what sets these reactions off and what you reach for. If its the things you dont want in your life, then its down to you to be responsible when you buy them, are they serving you and taking you where you want to be? If not, leave them in the shop. Wake up, and begin to notice what you are consuming or reacting to that you dont want in your life anymore.

3. Mindfulness, stillness, meditation, relaxation. All of these can be scary words and a bit hippy and way out there . However….if you want to change direction, you have to turn the wheel of the car. Change the scenary. Make a change.

How does it work?

Using mindfulness can mean a happier workplace

Tone down mental chatter so you have more clarity on the way ahead and ideas

Pause before you pick up the phone, pick up the wine, reach inside the fridge. Stop.

Breathe. For just 5 real minutes, time yourself. If you find thats hard, then find another way… do something else, have a bath or sit on the bed

Turn off the TV and i-pad.

Close your eyes

Place the hands on the lower belly and breathe slowly into the lower belly.

Notice where your thoughts go to.

Bring them back to the breathing.

Notice that if your thoughts wander that much in just a few seconds, imagine what they are doing every day, every week, every month, every year.

When we worry and have anxiety we are placing ourselves into survival, into reptilian brain, reactive not responsive, shallow breathing, the brain only wants us to stay alive and when oxygen is reduced by shallow breathing, it reacts..send us pain, restriction, reaction.

You cannot be in the reptile brain and pre frontal cortex of the brain at the same time. You cant think straight and be clear in your pre frontal cortex whilst stuck in the reptilian brain, it doesn’t work like that.The more clear you are in making decisions, choices, choices and what to say in disputes etc, the more effective you can be, at work as well as at home, enhancing health as well as productivity.

So when you next reach for something you really know doesn’t serve you, wait, breathe, be mindful and change the pattern.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

 

 

 

 

Mel Collie | Stressed about Mothers Day?

Mel Collie | Stressed about Mothers Day?

 

Not everyone had a loving mother.

Days like Mothers Day bring around sad and hurtful memories for those that are survivors of abuse.

Many of those survivors are mothers themselves, with healthy, happy children .However, does a day that has been created for us to remember our mother bring back those feelings of childhood, in the past, and make us feel worthless and loose self esteem, make us feel down and unloved all over again.

I was lucky, and had a wonderful mother, but I know a few people who werent as fortunate.

How can you help yourself through Mothers Day and the run up to it with all the reminders around?

I hope that these few questions can help you see through the darkness you feel surrounding you, and pull you up with this helping hand, because theres whole 364 more amazing days that arent mothers day that require your smile and laughter.

Grab a pen and some paper:

1. Ask yourself how are you currently feeling. Write it down. It will change daily, so write it down everyday, Get yourself a little diary to journal it if you want to.

2.Ask yourself how you would LIKE to feel? Write it down

3. What do you think stops you from feeling that way right now?

4. What would you like to be different?

5. Can you change that..what I mean is,  are you in charge of making those things different, those things in your answer in question 4? If yes, how can you change them, if no, what do you need to do in order to change how you feel about them?

My final question is about the Happiness Ladder:

Picture a tall ladder…with 10 rungs…which rung are you on right now in relation to your happiness.

Rung 1 being to least happy, number 10  being the most happy.

Which number came to your mind straight away?

Write it down before reading on :)

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

What would need to happen in order to increase it by 1 or 2 rungs?

What would be the best way to make that possible?

What number did you choose? Was it nos 3 or 5, somewhere in the middle?

Why are you not at 0 ?

Ponder on your answers as these are your treasure and your keys to life.

Mel

x

Happiness Talks Life Coaching calls for more smiles in your life :)

 www.melcollie.com

 

Mel Collie | Say YES

Mel Collie  |  Say  YES

 

Well, YES is such a great word….

 

Yes I am going to eat that

Yes I am looking great today

Yes I feel great

Yes today is a beautiful day

Yes, Im happy

Yes, I am awesome :)

 

How many times do you say that word to yourself ..or are you, instead, saying:

 

I cant do that, no, I just cant..

Im useless, no, I am just rubbish at that

I look like crap today, no Im not going to look anyone in the eye, in fact I might not even go out today or speak to anyone incase they see how ugly I am.

I feel sad like the weather today

I cant eat that, I will get fat

 

Which words are you choosing?

Do you know why? Is it a habit?

Is it your perception you dont deserve to be happy? Do you believe you arent worthy?

 

Why?

What can you do to change that today?

 

Mel

x

http://melcollie.com/happinesstalks/

Mel Collie | FearBook or Facebook?

Mel Collie  |  FearBook

Do you find you trawl other peoples status..that leave you feeling inadequate, rubbish, earning less, doing stuff wrong…facebook becomes fearbook…

Let me repeat that…Facebook can quickly become FearBook

The messages on Facebook are so easy to write, so easy to put on a mask BEFORE you write something, then once you’ve updated your status to let everyone know how successful and happy you are..you check around the friends and groups, realise theres so many people who are better than you, making more cash than you, happier than you etc etc

This mask is like a woman putting on full make up everyday before she steps outside the house

To forget the make up would be to show authenticity, being real, being vulnerable..

Scary stuff isn’t it…why is that?

Is it because someone might just pass a comment, make a judgement, say something rude, make her feel less than what she feels she is.

We feel that presenting the masks means we can present a different persona.

We can hide the problems we have, reality, and just be what we think others want us to be.

Does it feel scary to be real? To take off the mask?

How would it feel though, to be free of perfection?

Mel Collie

x

Happiness talks are now taking applications if YOU want to replace perfection with happiness.

Application date closes 14th March.

http://melcollie.com/happinesstalks/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mel Collie | What is Proprioception anyway?

Mel Collie  | What is Proprioception anyway?

 

Recently I learned more about the amazing world of the brain and proprioception, and how we can use propriocepton to help us with our reduced pain, movement and flexibility.

Ready for the science bit? Here we go then…

Your nervous system is always monitoring where you are..the speed in which you do things, the way you move. As we go through life we have compensations, through accidents, traumas, sitting…habits we have.

We all have small nerve endings running through the nervous system which are found throughout the body, but also around our joints.

So when we are out of alignment, the body send those signals back to the brain that sees this as a threat, and changes the signals back to the joints, which can shut down or change the firing pattern of the muscles around that joint.

So we can make the body neurologically smarter by waking up the signals that travel back to the brain.

This simple warm up can change the way your body moves , the proprioception changes, allowing your movement to be amazingly easier, just by working with the brain, your neurological warm up is here:

 http://youtu.be/Fri5mL2_iE0

Ive found that using this simple technique, helps clients keep perfect form in the session.

Perfect form is key in every move, as imperfect form just trains them to keep imperfect form, their body keeps moving imperfectly, it becomes better at it, like an athlete training for a sport, the client trains at imperfect form. #

So feeling that we should do an extra rep with bad form, is at its best, disastrous for pain relief and posture.

Be aware that your nervous system is at the top of the food chain, upstream, and governs your strength and performance.

Increasing proprioception can remove old internal traumas that we may not be aware of, any reduced movements that we feel we have to reduced rotation because of tightness in the shoulders or ribs or hips, can be down to old injuries, the neural system reducing our range to protect us from moving too far, too fast, so it protects us by reducing range, increasing pain, its only protecting us.

As you practice the warm up, you will find that your newly mobile joints create stronger muscles surrounding the joints from head to toe, so think of what the opposite does, compressed joints create weaker muscles, weaker responses, pain and inhibition.

That can only mean less pain, better movement and overall better posture and great news for your balance, control and quest for ideal alignment.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

Do you want to reduce pain, ncrease flexibility and range quickly?

Well, Mel does things a bit differently, and uses neurological science based movements.

1:1 sessions start from £40 per hour.

Inclusive of assessment.

From her home studio in Portreath, Cornwall.

Block bookings are available, minimum of 5 sessions £185.00

Call 01209 84396101209 843961

Email: mel.collie@live.co.uk

 

 

 

 

Mel Collie | Relationships & Love

Mel Collie   |  Relationships & Love

 

So, after splitting from my bloke recently, I let go of the whole relationship..realising that if I held on, it would be me that would be suffering, holding onto anger, pain, fear, only hurting myself.

Are you holding onto anything from a past relationship,  is it weighing you down, stopping you from moving forward? Stopping you from loving you again?


Letting go is so ..well, releasing : )

Its like putting down a heavy rucksack thats been bothering your shoulders and back for a very long time but you have to keep carrying it.


I read this in a book, Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsch (Belive me, its not a bible or a religious book at all…) which resonated with me, about ourselves and relationships..


“The purpose of a relationship is to decide what part of yourself you’d like to see ‘show up,’ not what part of another you can capture and hold.

There can only be one purpose for relationships, and for all of life: to be and to decide who you really are.”


That made me ponder, on whoever I come across, friendships, relationships, with others but also with myself .. allowing me to be me, allowing them to be them, just being with no agenda, just being authentic and true to yourself.


Why be anything else? Why pretend.


When you are true to yourself and authentic, it releases you from feeling stuck, being lost, not knowing what decision to make for the better.


The heart knows.


But we have learned not to listen. How good a listener are you…

How do you begin to listen?

Well, you can start by taking a step back from where you are right now and listen to the beating of your heart, of the rhythm of your breath.Then…as you chose to take a move on the next step in your life..feel it first.


If it feels right, and you feel good about it, then go for it.


Feelings. :)..a great song!


Positive feelings and happiness are always there if you look for them, and you dont have to look very hard.

As the searching begins from within you.

 

Mel

x

www.melcolliewellness.com

My little downloadable e book of inspirational poems and stories, one for each day of a week in your life, for your heart to be inspired, is published here:

http://www.lulu.com/shop/melanie-collie/inspire/ebook/product-21437264.html;jsessionid=F4D3C9B946677ECD55CC90441F1E93C0

Mel Collie | When positive thinking doesnt work

Mel Collie | When positive thinking doesnt work

 

We’ve all read those positive thinking posts on Facebook, cards, pictures, quotes..

What happens when you find you read them, and then nothing in your life changes?

Yep, you still arent positive…”stuff it…there must be something wrong with me..”

Life still sucks..

For many of us, the happy clappy quotes dont work, reality isnt like that for many of us.

So what is the alternative? To sit back and just accept the crap thats being chucked at you and get depressed and fed up?

Can if you like, but heres the thing…

1. When was the last time you promised yourself that you would do something, see it through and stick to it? Stuff like: Massage. Hot bath before bed. No laptop after 9pm. No emails after 9pm. Walking everyday for 10 minutes at lunchtime. Reading a chapter of your favourite book before sleeping. Taking 5 minutes out when you get home from work to be quiet before the mayhem of preparing dinner commences. Meeting a mate for a coffee once a week/fortnight.

2. So, for you, what was that promise?

3. Why didnt you see it through?

4. How did it make you feel?

Like rubbish I bet,’cos thats how I feel when I let myself down and say yes to other things that dont serve or help me.

 

Taking a back seat over doing stuff for others when I already do loads of that, and feeling that if I dont I will feel guilty.The only person making me feel like that is me.

 

Its a choice, and you can change that if you too feel like that. Believe it or not, when you do start to listen to your feelings and act on them, your life changes, you have more time, you can be there for others, you can help out, as other stuff just disappears into the background.

Looking after yourself first is under rated!We are conditioned into believing its selfish, when its completely the opposite, being selfish is not being kind to yourself.

Start with yourself. Always.

Neglecting yourself sends a signal o your brain that you arent worth it anyway.

Reducing your self esteem and self confidence, you are always rushing around, never time for yourself.

………………………………………………………………….

Say …NO

I cant do that right now, but I can next week, is that ok?

Can you help me wash up?

Maybe you can clear the dishes tonight, I fancy a bath, is that ok?

I dont want to watch TV tonight, Im going to bed to read my book

I fancy a massage, my back and shoulders deserve a treat. Once a week/fortnight/month, I am worth it.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Positive thinking can be a load of crap when you are under stress, unfortunately, jut when you need it the most.

The negativity will stick like glue as you get stuck in a never ending cycles of feeling stuck, feeling like you want to run and feeling like you want to fight back.

Start to notice your achievements

You have them everyday

Even if you things its things not worth noticing like getting the kids to school, ironing, washing, cleaning the house.

Everyday things, you do well and no one comments on them.

They go un -noticed

Notice them yourself, reward yourself.

In case you forget, write them down in a journal, a diary.

Read it back after a week and see how it changes your feelings.

Chase those positive feelings.

They change your life.

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

 

Mel Collie | Valentines Day

Mel Collie | Valentines Day

If you read my earlier post, you will know that recently my bloke left.

We just werent on the same path anymore, where I was heading, he wasnt coming along for the ride, and where he was heading, I wasnt going.

It kind of went downhill on New Years Eve, but as its happened a couple of times before, all ended in a friendly way, and we’ve moved on.

So when Friday 14th Feb comes along, I’m out at lunchtime with some friends, then off to  sound meditation group in the evening with another lovely friend.

And it doesnt bother me to see so many hearts going up and adverts for couples to have dinner together.

Theres no pang in my own heart..Im not thinking, well, that could have been my Friday February 14th this year.

Looking back, the 2nd time we split was 2 years ago, I was more upset then, and went off for a weekends silent meditation in a lovely place in Devon, and that really helped me as I embarked on a path of self discovery and understanding.

How to be kinder to myself and listen to my heart and what it wants.

Always learning, I read a lot of books and have started a life coaching course, been on an NLP course and learning more about how we are all connected, as one, from the same tapestry. All different threads weaving together.

Some people we dont get on with, that is fine, let them go.

You cant love everyone, and why should you want to? If you havent started with yourself yet, whats your plan? where are you going to begin?

On a scale of 1 – 10 how happy are you with your choices?

 

 

Are you happy?..where are you on a scale of 1 – 10?

 

 

Why arent you a 0?

 

Why ARENT you a 0? …because you are ..what?

 

 

List 10 things you are , that mean you arent a ” 0.”

 

 

 

 

Thats amazing isnt it?

 

 

Remember those amazing things about yourself, remind yourself often, we do forget.

When your heart is happy with yourself , settled, calm, open, welcoming, you are free .

Sometimes I wonder why I haven’t broken down and cried for days, maybe I’ve learned a lot about loving kindness, can see a bigger picture of forgiveness, but also, if I was to hold any hurt or anger, it would be only hurting me.

Why would I want that?

Maybe I’m not due a breakdown, maybe the next chapter is waiting, maybe its already happening, maybe I’m very excited !

Grateful for the time we had together, grateful its over and new stuff is on its way, grateful for the lessons, for thats where the beauty lies.

Find your beauty :)

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com