Mel Collie | Are you always right?
I am one of those types of people that believes their version of life is the right version, I believe that I can be extremely stubborn, my mums like it (love you mum!) so was her mum and so was her mum, so maybe its hereditary!
But…for a while now, through relaxation techniques Ive adopted over the past couple of years , I’ve recognised this is a stressful thing for me, and I dont like it, I dont like the friction it can bring and confrontation that can occur as a result of having to be right.
What if there is no right or wrong?.
Right from the beginning of our life on Earth, we are taught the difference between right and wrong, which helps us to see the right way, and can steer us towards our beliefs and values.
However when we grow up we harbour those feelings of being bad or naughty , and they become our daily habits. We continually judge ourselves when we are being, what we perceive, as bad, telling ourselves off for not sticking to a healthy habit like eating more vegetables and less sugar for example, for not exercising more, for not being good enough, for not keeping up with the neighbours.
When we fail, we feel bad, it can spiral out of control, and lead us to binge eating or purging, hiding away and ignoring our feelings
Feeling shame and not sharing our story
My kind of liberation from the chains of right or wrong, good or bad, came when I read “Conversation with God Book 1 – 3 “by Neale Donald Walsch , and “Dying to be me” by Anita Moorjani
My lessons learned and understood are that we are all equal, all part of a tapestry, all the same.
We all fear the same things, all feel shame and, we all worry what others think of us, when we act out our “should have done that” or” could’ve said that” , or, “it would’ve been like that if only I had…”
All regret, all based on fear, all based on what we perceive as right, wrong, good, bad.
All perceptions. Core beliefs.
I went to sunday school when I was little .It was a common belief that you had the fear of God put into you if you were bad…who was to decide whats good or bad in the first place, is it based on their own principles? Their own core beliefs?
Who says eating a whole bag of Revels is bad? (ok, every day maybe….)
Who says that not drinking 3 litres of water a day is bad?
Who says that having a couple of cups of coffee a day is bad?
Arent we all unique, our own unique cells and fluids of lymph and blood circulating inside of us..we all react differently to the foods we eat and the environment surrounding us.
So, when you look at good and bad, as I was taught at Sunday school, God will punish you if you are bad, does that mean he will punish me for eating all those Revels? (especially the Orange ones, they are my favourite – take note Revel people, and start selling them on their own..:) )
Punished if you dont pray to him every night
Punished if you sin and have sex before you are married ..
Punished if you accidentally tread on an ant
Punished if you swear
Punished if you arent serving God
Punish you if you dont eat fish on a Friday or say grace before eating.
Really?…all these values are expressed and taught so we actually begin to FEAR the very person who is the higher self? Is that what religion is based on…fear?
Do you believe that to be true? If you sin , then God will punish you?
Doesnt that make God a person (kind of) who judges us?
Why would God judge you? – isnt that what he DOESNT want us to do, judge ourselves? Then why would he judge us?
If God has values then aren’t “we all doomed ” (in a Dads Army type voice!)
In CWG book 3, Neale writes, “God has no values.”
Which makes sense doesn’t it?
For example, if you believe he does have values, then you believe he will say this to you – “You did this, and I wanted you to do that, so now you must be punished.”
Can you imagine that happening to the people that God created.
Thats you and me…
So, your values, as long as they are value-able to you, right here and now, they serve you, then they are value-able.
Do what works
Choose what is right or wrong by what works
Judging each other and ourselves
Choose what works.
Choose Love for the self and for others
Gratitude for what you have
Feel the peace that comes with those 2 things
Can we do that?
I did, (wasnt easy at times!) and saw changes around me, and even though I do, sometimes, feel a little bit naughty for missing a meditation session or eating those Orange Revels, I care a little less about those guilty feelings as they are let go with love, so yes, I feel love more, I feel less shame, and feel more gratitude for what I do have, definitely live more in peace and theres less anger and fear.
That saying is true, be the change you want to see in the world, it begins with you, your thoughts, your values, your choices that serve you, that are value-able.
Help and serve yourself first, then you are in the best position to help and serve others.