Mel Collie | 3 Ways to Be Enough
There is a saying , and many other positive ones to add to it, that goes around the social media sites that proclaims that you are enough, and you should know it by now..
Well, its true of course, you are enough, so am I, so is the person that you don’t like very much (that’s a tough one…)
However, many of us don’t believe that we are enough, often.
Reading posts that tell us that we should be reminded that we have a right to be here on the planet, to be heard, to know that we are gorgeous just as we are, don’t sink in when there are other things going on in our life that are harful to our survival.That are threats to our wellbeing and future.
Your brain is a complicated thing.
It only asks you 1 question, can I survive this.
When its not sure, it will slow you down and make you think and do things that you might not choose to do in happier circumstances.
Healthy eating, fitness, your flat ab goal for a summer beach body (thats a whole other story I will touch on next week..) any goals you have, will be put aside whilst your brain puts survival as priority.
Theres no such thing as being weak willed, you are never that.
Your brain has a hierarchy of threats, the first one being respiration,, of course when thats reduced it thinks you arent going to be here much longer, so it has to slow you down, your movements, digestion, energy, until its happy your future is no longer under threat of survival.
…even sex goes out the window, the last thing a threatened brain wants is to reproduce, it seeks safety first.
Threats can be as simple as an unexpected bill in the post, moving house, being judged by others, a feeling of disconnect with the family or in the town/village where you live.
The next time you beat yourself up about not feeling that you are enough, look at other areas of life first
1. Good old stress..the S word is common nowadays, but too much and your brain will be stuck in FFF – Fight, Flight or Freeze
2. Cortisol production increases, and with it comes increased belly fat, relaxation, meditation, daily walks, deep breathing, massages, all contribute to lowered cortisol, its not all about how much exercise you do, too much of the wrong kind for your body and you may not be seeing the results you want. be kinder.
3. Friends. Feeling part of the tribe, connection, safety, belonging, cuddles, eye contact, all help increase a hormone called oxytocin. Its made in the brain, in the hypothalamus ( you never know, you might be asked that on Mastermind one day…), too much stress = less oxytocin, the love hormone, helps reduce anxiety, is produced in abundance with human contact, eye contact, during sex , so, to reduce stress, go and cuddle your best mate or other half or the kids right now , ok even your teddy bear if you still have one..(Ive got 6…!)
4. Keep promises. Don’t cancel that massage, don’t cancel the drink with your best mate, dont break promises that you make for yourself. Promised yourself that you would do a few things this year, (remember new years resolutions?) did you want to take up Yoga or Pilates? Did you want to try a new type of food? Did you want to go travelling ? Did you want to read more? Walk more? Go to bed earlier? Have that bath and light those candles and relax more?Doing things for yourself doesn’t mean selfishness, it means you have more of an abundance mindset, so when you are happier and at peace with the self, you have more to give others.
Yes you are enough, but sometimes just reading it and bashing yourself over the head with it isn’t enough.Take a step back and lay some foundations.
Remember, your brain seeks survival. When you recognise that you are stuck in those reactions of fight, flight, freeze, be kind to yourself and take time out. Simple acts of deep slow breathing will send a message to your brain that all is well. Then some of the positive messages might sink in, stay there and you get those “lightbulb” moments 🙂
Mel Collie & Chris Tuck
Get more lightbulb moments by working with Mel & Chris over at their website, you can discover more here: