Tag Archives: confidence

Mel Collie | What happens when you beat yourself up

Mel Collie | What happens when you beat yourself up

Don’t know about you, but I’m so guilty of this, I’m always beating myself up, telling myself off for not doing something or doing it incorrectly, making mistakes, a constant conversation with myself in my head.

So, what does it mean though and how can you see it for what it is?

Well, here’s the thing, it just means that you are living in the past, all the time, not liking yourself for something you didn’t do or say, it is a waste of energy when you look at it don’t you think? Energy you could be using to change what happened and move on.

Yep. Move on.

Accept it.

You might do it again, you might not.

I use those mistakes as lessons. All lessons are good ones. Stress is a way of you understanding you are doing stuff thats too much for you right now, stuff you don’t like, don’t enjoy or feel pressure.

Sometimes its good stress, it can motivate you, get you moving forward, meeting deadlines.

Other times we don’t know how to switch off, keep on taking more on until we can’t take it, it can be something simple that makes you flip.

Release it and feel a lot more freedom. See stress as your friend, not your enemy.

This gives you space to follow where and what you want to be. No ones judging you, you only think they are, when really, your worst critic is in your head.

So next time you catch yourself beating yourself up, giving yourself  hard time ..ask yourself a couple of questions.

 

Are those berating thoughts you are having absolutely true?

Who would you be without those thoughts?

 

Just answering those 2 questions can start a little shard of realisation in your brain.

Enjoy the journey

 

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

p.s. I thank Byron Katie and her Work for those questions, I use them everyday, and also on my 1:1 clients

p.p.s Drink Tulsi Tea, its a wonderful, kind of magical  herb (Holy Basil) from India that helps calm and relax you, get it from the health food shop before the government find out and make it illegal (only kidding..)

 

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Guilty.

Losing time, procrastinating, looking at other peoples status updates, wondering why my life/body/diet/ car/house/whatever  isn’t as perfect as theirs!

Its all a con though, right? We never update the truth. Sex & scandal sell.

A couple of years ago a few of us posted selfies (really? selfie sticks?! FFS) of how we looked when we got up in the morning, no make up, the raw truth. How refreshing! Ok, maybe we didn’t all look refreshing, but thats the point.

Break barriers

Challenge the usual/norm

Be different

Stand out

Be you

The only person judging you is yourself, you will judge yourself more than anyone else EVER will.

It all comes from upbringing, family, conditioning, peer pressure, media.

How we SHOULD be

How we SHOULD act

who says? who made up the rules?

Don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but theres more than one shape of tree in the woods, its not the same as the next tree, it doesn’t

Mel Collie | Are you Good Enough?

Mel Collie | Are you Good Enough?

Diaries, I’ve had many over the years, but now I’m 50, I look back and realise the last time I wrote a diary was in my 20’s.

Haven’t blogs taken over now as peoples way of keeping a momento of their day to day adventures? Or is it Facebook?

One of my reasons for still being on facebook is the reason I started an account in the first place, to keep in touch with my sister in Indonesia.

Its easy to get swept away and watch what others are doing, reading status updates and compare your life to theirs, your family, money, success, health, body shape, and worry that we arent keeping up.

Things like these can either make or break us, is we allow it to.
You are in charge
You are in the driving seat
No one else in in charge of your life

Using energy to help out others in their struggles rather than using energy to judge ourselves, beat ourselves up about not being strong enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, rich enough…

Its exhausting trying to be perfect.

When Chris & I created the SOB online program, it was with this in mind, not to bully anyone into thinking they werent enough already, because you are, we all are, but to open eyes and realise just that.

Then accept it.
You are enough
As you are right now.
Acceptance of that fact is as hard as you make it because it brings with it all those little negative voices that you’ve heard over the years that you believe you cant do it , aren’t good enough

but you are

right now

The online program helps steer you through all the noise on Facebook and other social networking sites that can overtake, if you allow it to.

Action steps, accountability and a map to help guide you through the rocky sections of the path to accepting you as you are.

Now go look in that mirror and tell your reflection you are the best, amazing, fabulous. You dont need anyone else to tell you that, you just believe it.

But the most powerful thing is, that you are possibly going to listen to the negative voices in your own head, because thats where you live.

So, when you hear those voices that you are listening to ask yourself

 

Are they true?

Is it true that you arent good enough, will fail, will look stupid, wont be liked, are too overweight, arent perfect enough etc etc

Is it true?

How do you know it is (if your answer was a big fat YES , like those big fat YES the judges award in Britains Got talent…what does a big fat YES look like anyway?)

Question yourself.

Is it true

How do you know for sure

Are you being true to yourself or pleasing someone else

Then watch what happens as you go about your day.

Mel Collie & Chris Tuck
x
www.survivors-of-abuse.com

mel collie | How many times a day ?

mel collie | How many times a day ?

If I asked you what movement or exercise you did the most per day you might say that you walk a lot, or that you sit a lot because of your job and that prevented you from exercising as much as you would like to..But you wouldn’t consider that breathing is the most common movement pattern we perform everyday – we all breathe about 25,000 times a day…thats a lot isnt it?

Many of us breathe shallow quick breaths, and maybe because of sitting, injuries, fear, anxieties, our breathing changes,our rib position affected, many a section of our rib cage that doesnt move as effectively as the other side for example.

Rib mechanics can easily be checked and altered in a matter of seconds.

However, without doing an assessment on you personally, heres what you can do to help your breathing improve:

Lie down on your back, knees bent, pillow under the head so you are comfortable.

Place one hand on your belly, between the navel and the pubic bone.

Place the other hand on the part of the upper chest by the collarbone, as you breathe see which hand moves first.

Is it the top hand?

For most of us it is as we use the smaller shoulder and neck muscles to breathe, instead of utilising the diaphragm

Now imagine the lower hand is a heavy book, use the tummy to push the book up to the ceiling as you breathe in, and lower it as you breathe out, no need to suck the tummy in, just breathe.

Practice for 10 breaths, 4 times a day, without squeezing your bum or clenching you jaw or moving your shoulders off the floor.

The diaphragm is an often overlooked muscle in training but s simple breathing exercise can bring it back to life simply and effectively to help improve posture, balance, strength and confidence.

Mel

x

 

 

Mel Collie | Would you like an easy way to improve your balance?

Mel Collie | Would you like an easy way to improve your balance?

Balance – when we grow up our balance starts to falter, we become less steady on our feet, less secure about crossing the road, unsure about walking down the stairs, heights scare us, worried when we are in a crowd – fear of being knocked over, missing the step up onto the bus, fear of breaking a bone that will take ages to heal…

Would you like an easy way to get your balance back?

I’ve seen, and tried, many ways to train balance, but many of them involve you standing on a wobbly surface.

Now , since I’ve been on the planet, the ground beneath my feet isnt wobbly, its perfectly sound ,no wobbles in sight, so I wouldn’t choose to put you on a wobbly surface to improve your already unsure balance system.

The thought of doing this can increase fear in the nervous system which means the brain will further tighten certain muscles and increase pain.

Thats not a great start…

The science bit

The inner ear – the vestibular system on the inner ear is responsible for your balance.

It works with your visual system, your eyes, it keeps objects in focus as your head moves. So it makes sense, don’t you think, to use exercises to help your balance improve by usng your eyes and your head movements, simple moves, easily followed. Much easier for you if your balance is already a bit shaky , as these easy moves can be done seated or even lying down, standing by a wall or chair.

The simple bit

Watch and follow along with me to test your balance and improve it.

Mel Collie

www.melcollie.com

www.posturegeek.co.uk

melcollie@gmail.com

07800797300

mel collie | inner ear balance
would you like to improve your balance easily and quickly