Stress.. a warning sign to the mind thats something wrong in the data set. The mind looked inside itself and said..hey, whats going on..one of the filing cabinets is open and is not neat and tidy in here, its unorganised, its messy….whats happening?
Stress…the minds inability to be able to solve the situation..the minds constantly housekeeping, every second its checking the files..all the data, making sure its all in place, organised, and stress is where the mind says , this isn’t right, its not supposed to be like this.
You’ve hit a point, theres something you don’t agree with, its not that somethings actually WRONG, its just that you don’t agree with whats going on..
So, is stress a positive thing?
Is it an illusion..have we created the stress we know today, modern stress?
Well, your mind creates a state of feeling , you have a moan at yourself, because you don’t have anyone else to moan to.
We judge ourselves, often speaking to ourselves the way you would never allow a friend to speak to us.
We then internalise whatever it is we don’t agree with and it manifests as stress
The external stuff can be things like being stuck in a job you hate, not having the latest fashions, not having a new car, unable to afford to go abroad or buy new shoes or the latest laptop or newest mobile.
All these thoughts and processes bubble over in our minds.
We have an inability to recognise the data, our brains cant organise it, so we then get stressed..
We cant work it out
We haven’t got the answer
So we row with the self
Instead of…accepting it
When your body is thirsty you need water..it the bodies last attempt to get water, to get your attention to drink and hydrate.
Stress is mental thirst, bubbling over with information that your mind cant put it into a neat pile, it goes into hyperdrive in terms of intellectual responses, so you over think and over analyse. as the brain throws information at every situation, it cant put it into boxes, making it neat and tidy, organised. Our 10,000 year old ancestors reacted instinctively to the growing stimulus and fought or ran from the tiger/lion/melting volcano.
Now we have invented issues we call stress – the mobile fell down the loo, cant find the car keys, cant get a six pack, the person in the office has a belly is flatter than yours, the office isn’t tidy, the trousers aren’t ironed properly…etc etc…
If you react often to situations like these they can be an indicator to where the real problems are in your life.
They are all invented problems that aren’t a threat to our survival, like the caveman running from the tiger.
So, maybe we have to just accept thats what happening, realise it ..an accept it..
So, how can we begin to quieten the mind and release some of the stress we feel?
Ways to de stress
Quiet time is so important, especially with the constant noise from social media. Quiet time helps our mind to strip back the information that is not necessary.
Breathing slow and deep – 10 times – repeat 4 times a day.
Go for a walk on the beach/woodland/mountains/park
Have a bath – no one is allowed to disturb you
Read a book that stimulates your mind away from the glossing over stuff like how the latest celeb lost a zillion stone and how their wash board stomach makes them happy ..
Challenge yourself – do something that scares you…go climbing (believe me..that will really get you going..), go scrambling, go for a run, book yourself into something you have to work towards like a marathon, learn something new, spend a night out wild camping and look at the stars ..
Spend less time on social media and more time meditating, which doesn’t mean you war orange robes and sit for hours at a time, it can be as simple as just a minute a day, doing something that grabs your curiosity – like playing the guitar for example..
However, ultimately, to accept it, realise that you have situations that are stressful to you, and ask why, notice the knock on effects, how you can change your beliefs.
Stop it now, stop thinking you can each for the stars
Theres a huge explosion I’m witnessing on social media telling you that you can do it, you can be have and do more.
And you can..but theres a right way, and a wrong way, and I feel that many of us are in overwhelm and feeling stuck because we are doing it the wrong way.
I’m seeing a few people who are spiralling into feelings of despair and unworthiness, overwhelm and unhappiness..because they believe that their lives are unworthy
Thats a huge problem, because, in my humble opinion, no ones life is unworthy
We are all equal
You have a right to be on the planet as much as anyone else does, what you choose to do with the years you breathe are totally up to you, its your decision.
It is not a waste of your time if you feel you have no passion to do big things and achieve great stuff..who actually determines what great stuff is and why do we still deal with labels, putting ourselves into boxes and closing the lid?
Look at human beings who talk about buddhism.. for example
They are only talking about kindness towards each other – they aren’t bank managers, they aren’t CEO of Harrods, they aren’t running a newspaper, they aren’t CEO of a popular shop or brand, they don’t swear by eating clean and doing 100 sit ups for flat abs… yet they smile and are content..
They too may have wondered what they are going to do when they grow up
Like you, they may have been tempted to work in an organisation, in an office
….Well, ok maybe not, but you see where I’m going with this….
When I’m on holiday, its the local people who make the place, the people standing behind the counter serving you the coffee, the people in the street standing around chatting, the people sitting outside the cafes playing chess, the people mingling and just living, just being, in their ordinary lives, they are the characters.
You don’t have to reach for the stars if you don’t want to
You can just be
If you feel that just being isn’t not enough for you, well, the noise of social media can drown out your passion, until you just follow the crowd feeling alone and lost without a sense of purpose, because you may just be spending your time comparing yourself to others, even if you don’t mean to your life may seem to pale in comparison to others achievements..
…remember though, the life on Facebook and Twitter etc is usually fake, not many people take off their mask when they are on social media, they are great at being keyboard warriors, hiding behind the laptop, but to actually stand up and be real, that takes courage…
What to do about it then? You could spend some time being silent, away from the noise, closing the laptop, spending 15 – 30 minutes a day in a quiet breathing space, this can be as simple as taking the dog for a walk, having a bath, reading a book, going for a swim, knitting, sewing, walking, climbing, running, helping others.
Helping others give us a huge amount of peace
Its simple, it takes up our time, which is why many people don’t do it
Helping others is why you are here, to serve.
Its selfish, because it gives back to you in so many ways
So, go and help others, expect nothing in return, do it for yourself, reap the rewards, it may not be financial, but financial reward isn’t always a sign of success, what you feel in your heart though…well..thats a different matter..
When I was in my late 30’s, I thought I was pregnant, went to the Drs for a test, they told me, after a blood test, that I was going through an early menopause…at the time, I wasn’t happy, I felt that I was then left on the shelf with the possibility of having any kids taken away from me.
I was always a bit late in my decision making, so maybe I should’ve had them earlier, but I hadn’t met “Mr. Right” (whoever that is!)
So, after a bone scan, which they decided was best due to my age and the changes the body makes at that time in your life, it turned out my lower back showed signs of Osteopenia.
Me being me, I researched that…(more books and courses…!)
It’s not fatal and you can get better!
I changed my diet from this:
coffee(lots of espressos and sugar)
green twice a day (kale, watercress, spinach, savoy cabbage, cauliflower)
cheese – goats/sheeps/buffalo mozarella(easier to digest than cows)
bread – soda(easier to digest) but less of it, not everyday
herbal tea – gross – I thought – but loved peppermint , didn’t like the fruit ones. Tulsi Tea is awesome for relaxing stressed people(me!)
sweet potatoes (doesn’t raise blood sugar as much as white)
gluten free pasta
Yes, it wasn’t that hard actually. I had a realisation that hit home.
I could either be depressed about it and get worse or realise the truth, step up and get on with it, change some things and have a healthier future.
I chose the latter.
It took time though!
But I got there. I found better ways to cook veggies that I liked, because as a child I hated them!
I used to sit at that dinner table for hours until the plate was empty or Mum told me to get out of her sight 🙂
I now have more raw salads, spinach and watercress daily, green beans are a favourite, especially with a shepherds or cottage pie(made with sweet potatoes as a topping is lovely!)
Is prevention better than cure? Maybe..but sometimes you’ve got to have that wake up call before you do anything about it.
Have you had a wake up call? what was your reaction?
You know what? just be kind to yourself.
Thats the best thing you can ever do ..for you, it helps the inner you calm down, restore replenish, make better choices, and it has a knock on effect to those around you too. And thats always a good thing.
Are You Tired In The Morning? 2 Ways To Wake Up With More Energy
Do you find it hard to get up in the morning, then find that later in the day you do wake up and then cant get to sleep? Do you have anxiety and crave salty and sweet foods? If you have ever heard of adrenal fatigue, you aren’t alone. Its something I notice when I’m tired & over stressed, so, this is what adrenal fatigue is and a couple of simple things you can do to overcome it.
What are adrenal glands? They sit on top of the kidneys, and secrete different hormones, one you may have heard about it Cortisol.
Theres a cascade of hormones that trigger this though, before the Cortisol is released.
This is the science bit – Your Hypothalmus (part of the brain) secretes a chemical corticotrophin releasing hormone. Its the bodies first level of action when we have a stress response to a threat. Stress response, feeling anxious, feel that life under threat, the body believes it, so secretes hormones as an expression of reality to what it believes is a threat, the body reacts, does that make sense?
A threat can be a utility bill on the mat, the bank account not looking healthy, a deadline at work, not feeling part of the local community, a relationship issue.
So, your hypothalmus secretes the hormone, sending message to pituitary gland to secrete adrenal hormones, which send message to adrenal glands to release , amongst others, cortisol being the one you have probably heard about.
So when we are under stress which is . for many of us, constant – anxiety, worrying thoughts that don’t go away, the hormones are secreted all the time. Our body is always at a Fight, Flight, Freeze reaction.
This means Cortisol is always at a high level in the body, you might find that belly fat hangs around for longer than it used to and is hard to shift, it takes more than regular dieting and doing crunches or going for a run. You find you are tired, hard to get up in the morning but hard to get to sleep at night as well as craving salty or sweet foods.
Replenishing your system is the way to work with your body and your bodies responses.
1. Deprived of sleep, working at the office, deadlines to meet, families to look after, training at the gym for hours, can all lead to chronic fatigue. Sometimes we have to reach the point of pain in order to stop and take a look at our life and see whats happening, listen to our bodies reactions and decide to do something. So when you are tired and wired, you may notice that this is the time to take the foot off the pedal and take time to change some things to reduce the revs .
Simple things like shutting off the lap top an hour before bed. Keeping the bedroom in total darkness at bedtime, turn the mobile off, turn the digital clock the other way around, the glare can disturb sleep. have a bath before bed, lock the door, have 10 mins to yourself. Go for a walk every day for 15 mins. Remember if you are already time short, make it just 4 minutes, and see if you have any extra time to add the next day or week. What you do during the day for yourself is like putting money into a bank account, it soon adds up and you begin to see the rewards and earn interest.
2. Training – going to the gym before work, training again at night, going for a run, training some more, doing 2 classes back to back then rushing home to cook dinner, wash up, clean the house, do the ironing, get the kids organised…to tired to have a bath for yourself and fall into bed exhausted to wake up tired. OK, for just 2 weeks change your training program. Walk every day for 15 – 30 minutes. Try training for 1 – 2 days with weights if you like doing weights, then 1 – 2 days doing a HiiT session (no more than 30 mins though for each session) Training for hours is a drain on the system if you are not supporting it in other ways, its fine if its your life, or a celebrity who has a chef and a PT and a maid etc etc or if you are an athlete, however, many fitness instructors also find their body stops responding when they do too much and suffer burn out and injury, you just don’t hear about it.
3. Thinking. A drain on the inner energy are your thoughts, this sounds too simple to be true, as we are conditioned to thinking we should be DOING stuff , rather than DOING less, which is where your replenish comes in. Keeping a journal, writing down a couple of things you are grateful for, a couple of things you noticed that day that made you feel grateful, happy. Notice how you speak to yourself , maybe you push yourself, expect a lot from yourself, beat yourself up a lot. This is me! I used to do this…a lot…the only thing that slows me down is meditation, questioning my thoughts (Byron Katies books helped a lot, check her out on You Tube…do her worksheet…) Theres no one more important than you, if you aren’t healthy and there then you are able to give to others what you would like to give. Fit your own oxygen mask first.
4. Eat well to nourish, not to punish. Supporting ourselves with nourishing minerals and vitamins are our fuel. Eating at the dinner table, not on the run or in the car or as you walk to and from appointments at work for example, sitting down, slowing down as you eat helps the system digest the food and improve gut flora (not those sugar laden stupid gut flora drinks..). Noticing how much caffeine you drink. Me, I used to drink 6 or more espressos a day with a couple of sugars too, now I barely touch it, maybe 1 or 2 a week, and I notice that sometimes I sweat afterwards and feel so wired, so definitely no caffeine after mid day at the latest for me. Noticing these habits and your reactions is the beginning to a journey that may take a while to grasp, but the first step is the hardest, but so is step 2 and 3, sticking to your plans are tricky at times, then the body will send you some signal to tell you to get back on track.
Herbs are also helpful – when I went through a programe and changed my diet and noticed my adrenal issues, I used Ashwaghanda and Rhodiola (from health food shops, you drop a few of the tinctures into water and drink it). Now,maybe you don’t need both, but I tried them out, and found that the former worked well for me in helping support the immune system, but also helping to calm me down and help sleep and stress levels reduce. Magnesium also helped massively, and I still take it today. (https://www.philrichardsperformance.co.uk/index.php/better-sleep/magnesium-relax.html)
Eat good fats and proteins. Nuts, avocado, seeds, good quality protein like fish, chicken , eggs, quality green veggies like Kale, Cabbage, Brocolli, Watercress. Oils like coconut oil, a great quality fat, so cut back on processed oils like vegetable oil (canola, sunflower oil can increase inflammatory joints and aggravate the gut) Sat is important, sea salt or himalayan salt (its pink!) is also great for supporting the adrenals.
So to recap – as I’ve mentioned more than 2 things you can do, and doing too much can lead to overwhelm, which means you then do absolutely nothing..So, just 2 simple things you can do right now are theses …cut back if you are over-training at the gym. More isn’t necessarily better, but how you train is, work smarter, not harder. Rest is key. And the second is – don’t be scared of eating good fats. Eat good fats as described above, help to heal your gut to help heal your inner workings, put the right fuel in the car and it runs…all the TV and media adverts saying low fat is bad are a load of total rubbish. Theres tons of scientific research out there. If something isn’t working for you, then change it.
Look inwards for the answer.
Its a short life, make the most of it by having a healthy and stress free one that you love living, not one that you are just struggling to crawl through.
Diaries, I’ve had many over the years, but now I’m 50, I look back and realise the last time I wrote a diary was in my 20’s.
Haven’t blogs taken over now as peoples way of keeping a momento of their day to day adventures? Or is it Facebook?
One of my reasons for still being on facebook is the reason I started an account in the first place, to keep in touch with my sister in Indonesia.
Its easy to get swept away and watch what others are doing, reading status updates and compare your life to theirs, your family, money, success, health, body shape, and worry that we arent keeping up.
Things like these can either make or break us, is we allow it to.
You are in charge
You are in the driving seat
No one else in in charge of your life
Using energy to help out others in their struggles rather than using energy to judge ourselves, beat ourselves up about not being strong enough, skinny enough, pretty enough, rich enough…
Its exhausting trying to be perfect.
When Chris & I created the SOB online program, it was with this in mind, not to bully anyone into thinking they werent enough already, because you are, we all are, but to open eyes and realise just that.
Then accept it.
You are enough
As you are right now.
Acceptance of that fact is as hard as you make it because it brings with it all those little negative voices that you’ve heard over the years that you believe you cant do it , aren’t good enough
but you are
The online program helps steer you through all the noise on Facebook and other social networking sites that can overtake, if you allow it to.
Action steps, accountability and a map to help guide you through the rocky sections of the path to accepting you as you are.
Now go look in that mirror and tell your reflection you are the best, amazing, fabulous. You dont need anyone else to tell you that, you just believe it.
But the most powerful thing is, that you are possibly going to listen to the negative voices in your own head, because thats where you live.
So, when you hear those voices that you are listening to ask yourself
Are they true?
Is it true that you arent good enough, will fail, will look stupid, wont be liked, are too overweight, arent perfect enough etc etc
Is it true?
How do you know it is (if your answer was a big fat YES , like those big fat YES the judges award in Britains Got talent…what does a big fat YES look like anyway?)
Is it true
How do you know for sure
Are you being true to yourself or pleasing someone else