Tag Archives: mindfulness

Mel Collie | Don’t reach for the stars…

Mel Collie | Don’t reach for the stars…

Stop it now, stop thinking you can each for the stars

Theres a huge explosion I’m witnessing on social media telling you that you can do it, you can be have and do more.

And you can..but theres a right way, and a wrong way, and I feel that many of us are in overwhelm and feeling stuck because we are doing it the wrong way.

I’m seeing a few people who are spiralling into feelings of despair and unworthiness, overwhelm and unhappiness..because they believe that their lives are unworthy

Thats a huge problem, because, in my humble opinion, no ones life is unworthy

We are all equal

You have a right to be on the planet as much as anyone else does, what you choose to do with the years you breathe are totally up to you, its your decision.

It is not a waste of your time if you feel you have no passion to do big things and achieve great stuff..who actually determines what great stuff is and why do we still deal with labels, putting ourselves into boxes and closing the lid?

Look at human beings who talk about buddhism.. for example

They are only talking about kindness towards each other – they aren’t bank managers, they aren’t CEO of Harrods, they aren’t running a newspaper, they aren’t CEO of a popular shop or brand, they don’t swear by eating clean and doing 100 sit ups for flat abs… yet they smile and are content..

They too may have wondered what they are going to do when they grow up

Like you, they may have been tempted to work in an organisation, in an office

….Well, ok maybe not, but you see where I’m going with this….

When I’m on holiday, its the local people who make the place, the people standing behind the counter serving you the coffee, the people in the street standing around chatting, the people sitting outside the cafes playing chess, the people mingling and just living, just being, in their ordinary lives, they are the characters.

You don’t have to reach for the stars if you don’t want to

You can just be

If you feel that just being isn’t not enough for you, well, the noise of social media can drown out your passion, until you just follow the crowd feeling alone and lost without a sense of purpose, because you may just be spending your time comparing yourself to others, even if you don’t mean to your life may seem to pale in comparison to others achievements..

…remember though, the life on Facebook and Twitter etc is usually fake, not many people take off their mask when they are on social media, they are great at being keyboard warriors, hiding behind the laptop, but to actually stand up and be real, that takes courage…

What to do about it then? You could spend some time being silent, away from the noise, closing the laptop, spending 15 – 30 minutes a day in a quiet breathing space, this can be as simple as taking the dog for a walk, having a bath, reading a book, going for a swim, knitting, sewing, walking, climbing, running, helping others.

Helping others give us a huge amount of peace

Its simple, it takes up our time, which is why many people don’t do it

Helping others is why you are here, to serve.

Its selfish, because it gives back to you in so many ways

So, go and help others, expect nothing in return, do it for yourself, reap the rewards, it may not be financial, but financial reward isn’t always a sign of success, what you feel in your heart though…well..thats a different matter..

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Guilty.

Losing time, procrastinating, looking at other peoples status updates, wondering why my life/body/diet/ car/house/whatever  isn’t as perfect as theirs!

Its all a con though, right? We never update the truth. Sex & scandal sell.

A couple of years ago a few of us posted selfies (really? selfie sticks?! FFS) of how we looked when we got up in the morning, no make up, the raw truth. How refreshing! Ok, maybe we didn’t all look refreshing, but thats the point.

Break barriers

Challenge the usual/norm

Be different

Stand out

Be you

The only person judging you is yourself, you will judge yourself more than anyone else EVER will.

It all comes from upbringing, family, conditioning, peer pressure, media.

How we SHOULD be

How we SHOULD act

who says? who made up the rules?

Don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but theres more than one shape of tree in the woods, its not the same as the next tree, it doesn’t

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

I know, me too, I go for all those cutey photos with words written on them, them 2 seconds later forget them as I stress about the morning ahead, getting things done by the deadline, what to cook for dinner, cleaning the house, making sure everyones happy…etc etc..

Positive thinking, in actual fact, for many of us humans on the planet, doesnt work. Im telling you the truth, and heres the reason why…(the same for setting goals and vision boards…that become invisible boards)

and what you can do about it..

Stick with it, because I’m going to be scientific..

1. Your brain is amazing, you know that already.

2. If you have the following things going on in your life, all those positive quotes will do nothing for you…they will just slide off you like water off a ducks back, so, if you are feeling stuck, if you are struggling, dont believe in yourself, feel threatened, under pressure, frustrated at what others are succeeding in around you, working too hard without a break, worrying about finances, illness, feeling in pain – emotionally as well as physically,  lack of feeling accepted in the community – maybe you’ve just moved house or work, feel like theres a lot of change going on around you.

3. The brain has different areas, and if they are being neglected then they will let you know about it. The reptilian brain is the oldest part – its that survival response, fight or flight, it doesnt care that you want to tone up,eat healthy, weigh less, wear a bikini or whatever your goals are. If it perceives you are under threat, it will kick in, your goals will not be as obtainable as you thought. The mammalian brain processes emotion, it seeks physical wellbeing and safety, is affected by judgements.  The neocortex wants emotional safety, acceptance, eye contact, praise, love.

So when any of these areas in your life are happening – a row in the family, a stressful job, nutritional neglect, judgements from others in the social circle, then the brain will skim over those positive quotes , it can also be something as simple as a change in your life. the body seeks homeostasis, and when it sense this is under threat, then things will change in your response, as all change is a threat to homeostasis Threat can be as simple as something is changing too fast, too slow or something is unclear to you. This threat can manifest as fight, flight freeze. Fight can be increased pain and inflammation, flight can be wanting to run away, turning up late for appointments, and freeze can be simply not moving, staying and feeling stuck not taking action.

Instead, look at your own life and those around you. Ask some question:

What going too fast/slow for you right now

What feels stuck?

Are you getting support, connection, feelings of safety and belonging, how is your self esteem and self image, do you have financial worries, health worries, do you feel shame and blame. More stress = less joy and less care of the self. Stress is indeed more likely to add inches than an iced bun. ( see my last blog on the iced bun revolution !)

When we are anxious, we have less faith in ourselves, which in turn impacts on self esteem. We then use food as a reward, (if the brain feels less connected in the community/the self/from friends  it will look for that elsewhere – like food)  then feel guilty afterwards, using exercise as punishment for over eating rather than using it to nourish areas of our brain and having more fun. (e.g. try a new workout, go for a run in the park, go for a 30 min walk everyday, do cartwheels, try handstands, do stuff you did when you were a kid, stop training as if your abs and happiness depended on it)

Work with yourself. Awareness of reactions, emotions, whats lacking, whats missing.

Accept whats missing, work on connection, compassion to yourself, drop the judgements.

Maybe then your brain will no longer need those “think positive” reminders, because it feels safe, connected, better sense of wellbeing and notices threats.

Mel Collie

www.melcollie.com

 

 

 

 

 

Mel Collie | Eat Iced Buns Revolution

Mel Collie | Eat Iced Buns Revolution

I was wrong…

About 5 years ago I taught Bootcamps on the beach in Cornwall. I got a buzz, being a morning person, from being outside training on a beautiful morning, not so great in the cold dark Winters though! Thats one of the reasons i stopped, but also I was observing a rather unhealthy trend amongst other Bootcamp teachers, and I was aware of a lot of them on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram etc posting pics of their meals, their toned bodies, it was getting to obsessional and too…well…untrue…some of these people I knew were not being honest about their food/protein/carb/sugar intake, some still do this, and its not healthy.

What is healthy then? Well, to me, maybe to you as well,healthy means to be happy in your mind.

Not having a six pack, not judging yourself as you look in the mirror at the wobbly bits but by accepting what is.

You don’t have to totally LOVE your reflection, you can still wobble and have goals to change things, however, when you begin with the mindset, you begin with foundations.
A bit like building a house, you don’t start with the chimney pots and roof tiles..Kevin on Grand Designs would give you one of those “are you crazy?” stares!
You wont die if you eat a donut today, you might put on weight if you eat 5 or 6 everyday, but putting on weight is your bodies way of telling you that your Liver is struggling to cope with toxins. When you notice it, tweak a few things, but dont drastically remove foods you love.
Sugar is ok – in moderation. Use that moderation.
Me? I was obsessed with green smoothies, juices, protein and carb intake. It wasn’t sustainable. What do you do when you go out with friends, do you say no to a glass of wine, so a pizza, to a pudding? How does that leave you feeling? Do you then go home and raid the fridge in guilt ?

Now? I eat in moderation.
I change things everyday, because your metabolism changes everyday, you are never the same person twice, you are always changing, just like the weather.
Have an iced bun, have some toast, have a coffee, have  glass of wine,  eat well when you go out for dinner.

Decide to eat well, with awareness, understand that food isnt scarce right now, we are lucky to live in these times where we have choice, embrace it, dont eat like you are going to starve tomorrow, slowly eat, mindfully eat, have fun with food, have sugar and caffeine, wheat occasionally, be a detective for your body, mind and soul.
Its amazing that, as you look around and notice others (notice at least 5 others today) notice these things
1. Notice what their body is telling others about their mindset
2. Notice how they choose to believe their thoughts about how they feel about themselves
3. Notice how they choose to move
4. Notice yourself in the same way
5. Notice your thoughts, and begin the end of the internal struggle. Notice how anti ageing that is to the frown on your face, the softness of the skin, the radiation of your internal happiness, then watch the magic happen.

Much Love

Mel

www.melcollie.com

Have you tried meditating? Does it have a darker side?

Have you tried meditating? Does it have a darker side?

I’ve just read an article in New Scientist about the darker side of meditation.

Its surprising to learn that for some, meditation can mean depression, mania, hallucinations, terror, psychotic breakdowns.

On long meditation retreats, the outcome can be distressing for some, but blissful for others. David Shapiro of California University found that 7% experienced profoundly adverse effects, including panic and depression. Apparently is doesn’t matter if you are an experienced meditator or not.

After a relationship breakdown a few years ago, I went on a 3 day silent meditation in Dorset, and although I cried and let go of a load of baggage on the first day, I found a lot of peace, and continued to meditate when I got home, although the car drive back was a nightmare, because of the noise, the madness of the traffic, the pressure of driving, almost negated the whole 3 day experience.
Also,  I used to meditate for 30 – 45 minutes every morning with a friend in the village. I was usually away with the fairies and in a state of bliss, she , however, seemed quite distressed at times, because it was hard to relax the mind and feel happier and serene.
My take away from the article that relates to life, fitness, wellness and your self esteem is this – mindfulness can be a stressful thing. Trying to focus on your awareness om what you are feeling and thinking can be demanding on the brain.

When the “bad stuff” arises, it can be hard to negotiate with those memories and thoughts, and its this side of meditation that is the darker side of it.

So, if you are considering meditating, have an awareness of the effects, of what may happen, that it might not be the blissful stress free experience that you are seeking, but then again, it might, this all depends on you and what has happened in your lifetime.

Theres also an article on wellness, and the issues with the wellness industry, Ive got my thoughts on that too, thats for next time.

But for now, I want to thank everyone who has bought their Phase I of the corrective exercise project, and have received great feedback, helping a couple of guys with tight hamstrings , and a woman with long term back pain to name but a few, thanks, keep your good comments and questions coming though to mel.collie@live.co.uk

Mel Collie
Want a copy? Go here  and click the corrective exercise tab at the top.