Tag Archives: mindset

Mel Collie | Is stress a positive thing?

Mel Collie | Is stress a positive thing?

 

Stress.. a warning sign to the mind thats something wrong in the data set. The mind looked inside itself and said..hey, whats going on..one of the filing cabinets is open and is not neat and tidy in here, its unorganised, its messy….whats happening?

Stress…the minds inability to be able to solve the situation..the minds constantly housekeeping, every second its checking the files..all the data, making sure its all in place, organised, and stress is where the mind says , this isn’t right, its not supposed to be like this.

You’ve hit a point, theres something you don’t agree with, its not that somethings actually WRONG, its just that you don’t agree with whats going on..

So, is stress a positive thing?

Is it an illusion..have we created the stress we know today, modern stress?

Well, your mind creates a state of feeling , you have a moan at yourself, because you don’t have anyone else to moan to.

We judge ourselves, often speaking to ourselves the way you would never allow a friend to speak to us.

We then internalise whatever it is we don’t agree with and it manifests as stress

The external stuff can be things like being stuck in a job you hate, not having the latest fashions, not having a new car, unable to afford to go abroad or buy new shoes or the latest laptop or newest mobile.

All these thoughts and processes bubble over in our minds.

We have an inability to recognise the data, our brains cant organise it, so we then get stressed..

We cant work it out

We haven’t got the answer

So we row with the self

Instead of…accepting it

When  your body is thirsty you need water..it the bodies last attempt to get water, to get your attention to drink and hydrate.

Stress is mental thirst, bubbling over with information that your mind cant put it into a neat pile, it goes into hyperdrive in terms of intellectual responses, so you over think and over analyse. as the brain throws information at every situation, it cant put it into boxes, making it neat and tidy, organised. Our 10,000 year old ancestors reacted instinctively to the growing stimulus and fought or ran from the tiger/lion/melting volcano.

Now we have invented issues we call stress – the mobile fell down the loo, cant find the car keys, cant get a six pack, the person in the office has a belly is flatter than yours, the office isn’t tidy, the trousers aren’t ironed properly…etc etc…

If you react often to situations like these they can be an indicator to where the real problems are in your life.

They are all invented problems that aren’t a threat to our survival, like the caveman running from the tiger.

So, maybe we  have to just accept thats what happening, realise it ..an accept it..

So, how can we begin to quieten the mind and release some of the stress we feel?

 

Ways to de stress

  • Quiet time is so important, especially with the constant noise from social media. Quiet time helps our mind to strip back the information that is not necessary.
  • Breathing slow and deep – 10 times – repeat 4 times a day.
  • Go for a walk on the beach/woodland/mountains/park
  • Have a bath – no one is allowed to disturb you
  • Read a book that stimulates your mind away from the glossing over stuff like how the latest celeb lost a zillion stone and how their wash board stomach makes them happy ..
  • Challenge yourself – do something that scares you…go climbing (believe me..that will really get you going..), go scrambling, go for a run, book yourself into something you have to work towards like a marathon, learn something new, spend a night out wild camping and look at the stars ..
  • Spend less time on social media and more time meditating, which doesn’t mean you war orange robes and sit for hours at a time, it can be as simple as just a minute a day, doing something that grabs your curiosity – like playing the guitar for example..

However, ultimately, to accept it, realise that you have situations that are stressful to you, and ask why, notice the knock on effects, how you can change your beliefs.

Mel Collie

www.melcollie.com

 

 

Mel Collie | Fat Kids, Thin Kids

Mel Collie | Fat Kids, Thin Kids

In a very popular newspaper this week theres been articles about fat kids, thin kids, schools that tell kids off for being fat, stories about how that makes their parents feel..and each article is so scant with detail that it doesn’t really tell you anything.

Don’t know about you but that leave me feeling like I’ve just had some of my brain cells stolen for nothing in return. I feel frustrated that the paper leaves the reader…thats me..a feeling of blaming the system, that the system is failing the kids and that the fat kids are to blame.

Are they saying the kids should be weighed more? How much more?What do they do with those figures? What words do they choose to say to the kids that are being weighed. Do the kids truly understand why they are being weighed?

Do they understand the consequences of being over or under weight? Do they understand what food is? Do they get what energy is?

Do they know what carbs, protein and fibre are? Do you?

Do they understand that metabolism changes all the time? Do you?

Do they like moving, playing, running, skipping, jumping, climbing, swimming, games? Do you?

Are they made to do sports in the rain that they hate? (I loved tennis, hated netball…I was very lucky to have the opportunity to play tennis in secondary school, but hated netball when I was in first school…top tp – you cant play tennis in the rain, but you can play netball, Im a fair weather sports girl..Pilates was around but not as much when I was growing up. It only came to the UK in the 1970’s, and Yoga was just for hippies back then, but so was peanut butter and health food shops. )

How is their self esteem?How is yours?

How often do you weigh yourself?

Daily? Weekly? Monthly?

How do those numbers leave YOU feeling?

Like they STOLE a piece of your happiness?

Transfer that feeling to the kids now…

A feeling of failure, not being good enough, hating themselves.

Some of those kids, with the right support and mindset, will use that as fuel to better themselves.

Many of those kids will use the information to go further into themselves, ironically turn to comfort eating, keep walking around in circles, chasing their tales. Crying out for help from the inside.

These stories are becoming more common, and they make me sad to see them

We label everything.

We tell our kids that they are fat or thin.

We do that

They learn from us

We are their example

We feed them

We buy the food, we cook the food, we serve it up on the table….or on laps in front of the Telly box, or as they look at their mobiles/ipads/whatever distracts them.

We buy what we see, and how these things make us feel.

Adverts influence us, theres usually an emotion attached – does the music in an advert create a feeling in you?

If we are feeling like we need comfort from the world we live in, we turn to food that isn’t nourishing us. We eat cake (I do, I love a slice of Lemon Drizzle !)

We comfort eat

We emotionally eat to fill a void.

Could be that you are in a job thats getting you down.

Maybe your relationship isn’t as fulfilling as you would like.

Maybe your financial situation isn’t as rosy as you hoped.

Maybe you don’t believe in yourself. Maybe you don’t like yourself very much.

What helps short term?

Food

What helps long term?

Mindset

Adults are starting to “get”mindset, understand it more.

Now, when I was a kid, I hated veg. I NEVER ate any veg on my plate.

Mum would buy a chicken pie for dinner and I would pick out the peas and carrots, leave them on the side. This isn’t unusual!

Sunday lunch was left to go cold, I didn’t like roast dinners.

Now, though, I adore food, roast potatoes…lush..green veg..gorgeous..

Theres more choice than than when I was a kid.

However, what changed for me was my health

When I went through an early menopause I was put on hormone replacement therapy, which left me feeling very depressed and tearful

I came off it after 4 weeks  and bought a book on natural hormone therapy which leads to change my diet.

I stopped eating white bread and pasta

I started eating green veggies like kale/cauliflower/cabbage/brocolli , lean meat like chicken, turkey, a little red meat like mince(cottage pie!), sweet potatoes, rice, fruit, avocados (make great cakes!)

I became excited about food, I ate a lot more food.

I felt better by changing my diet, I wanted to have more energy. I love afternoon naps but not when I have to work and feel sluggish, relying on coffee to perk me up then having trouble sleeping at night because of the caffeine.

I was going around in circles!

Educating myself changed everything.

Taking responsibility for my health changed everything.

Kids don’t know how to do this unless we guide them, help them, educate them, and if schools are cutting down on classes like cooking then they are going to be lost.

Have we lost the passion to cook at home, are we really too busy?

Can an hour at the weekend be set aside to prepare food for the week ahead so we don’t stress about whats for dinner after we get home from work.

Freezing dishes like shepherds pie, soups, mince for spaghetti bolognese/lasagna, curries.

Trying fruit and veg smoothies as a way of consuming more nutrients.

However, the biggest takeaway (ha! excuse the pun!) from all, this is to have more, much much more:

FUN

LAUGHTER

LOVE

PASSION

ACCEPTANCE

FREEDOM

When you take responsibility for yourself, like yourself more and accept who you are with all your amazing uniqueness, it opens a whole world of possibilities.

Food choices  then become secondary, because you are out there having way too much fun to even bother thinking about calories, fat, sugar etc. Put down the information overload , put Google away and get outside.

Love Life

Love Yourself

x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mel Collie | The negative meditation

Mel Collie | The negative meditation

Mindfulness is big news

You should meditate they say

You tried it, your mind wandered, you had stuff to do, it didnt work

Me too..

Life gets in the way doesn’t it?

Heres what helped me to recently get some kind of clarity , because some kind of stillness, quiet, meditation practice does really work. Maybe you find the answers to stuff when out for a walk, or in the shower, or dancing around the kitchen to your favourite tunes…this is one kind of meditation you can do at anytime of day..or night..

Massage those negative thoughts.

Gather then up, all those words that are holding you back – cant, should, maybe, what if, not good enough..all those negatives that are holding you back from being you, and get them in a corner of your mind and massage them

Treat them to a lovely massage, use your imagination to get in there with your hands and give them some love.

Feels really good!

Mel

www.melcollie.com

 

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Mel Collie |Facebook & How To Use It For Your Health

Guilty.

Losing time, procrastinating, looking at other peoples status updates, wondering why my life/body/diet/ car/house/whatever  isn’t as perfect as theirs!

Its all a con though, right? We never update the truth. Sex & scandal sell.

A couple of years ago a few of us posted selfies (really? selfie sticks?! FFS) of how we looked when we got up in the morning, no make up, the raw truth. How refreshing! Ok, maybe we didn’t all look refreshing, but thats the point.

Break barriers

Challenge the usual/norm

Be different

Stand out

Be you

The only person judging you is yourself, you will judge yourself more than anyone else EVER will.

It all comes from upbringing, family, conditioning, peer pressure, media.

How we SHOULD be

How we SHOULD act

who says? who made up the rules?

Don’t know if you’ve ever noticed but theres more than one shape of tree in the woods, its not the same as the next tree, it doesn’t

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

I know, me too, I go for all those cutey photos with words written on them, them 2 seconds later forget them as I stress about the morning ahead, getting things done by the deadline, what to cook for dinner, cleaning the house, making sure everyones happy…etc etc..

Positive thinking, in actual fact, for many of us humans on the planet, doesnt work. Im telling you the truth, and heres the reason why…(the same for setting goals and vision boards…that become invisible boards)

and what you can do about it..

Stick with it, because I’m going to be scientific..

1. Your brain is amazing, you know that already.

2. If you have the following things going on in your life, all those positive quotes will do nothing for you…they will just slide off you like water off a ducks back, so, if you are feeling stuck, if you are struggling, dont believe in yourself, feel threatened, under pressure, frustrated at what others are succeeding in around you, working too hard without a break, worrying about finances, illness, feeling in pain – emotionally as well as physically,  lack of feeling accepted in the community – maybe you’ve just moved house or work, feel like theres a lot of change going on around you.

3. The brain has different areas, and if they are being neglected then they will let you know about it. The reptilian brain is the oldest part – its that survival response, fight or flight, it doesnt care that you want to tone up,eat healthy, weigh less, wear a bikini or whatever your goals are. If it perceives you are under threat, it will kick in, your goals will not be as obtainable as you thought. The mammalian brain processes emotion, it seeks physical wellbeing and safety, is affected by judgements.  The neocortex wants emotional safety, acceptance, eye contact, praise, love.

So when any of these areas in your life are happening – a row in the family, a stressful job, nutritional neglect, judgements from others in the social circle, then the brain will skim over those positive quotes , it can also be something as simple as a change in your life. the body seeks homeostasis, and when it sense this is under threat, then things will change in your response, as all change is a threat to homeostasis Threat can be as simple as something is changing too fast, too slow or something is unclear to you. This threat can manifest as fight, flight freeze. Fight can be increased pain and inflammation, flight can be wanting to run away, turning up late for appointments, and freeze can be simply not moving, staying and feeling stuck not taking action.

Instead, look at your own life and those around you. Ask some question:

What going too fast/slow for you right now

What feels stuck?

Are you getting support, connection, feelings of safety and belonging, how is your self esteem and self image, do you have financial worries, health worries, do you feel shame and blame. More stress = less joy and less care of the self. Stress is indeed more likely to add inches than an iced bun. ( see my last blog on the iced bun revolution !)

When we are anxious, we have less faith in ourselves, which in turn impacts on self esteem. We then use food as a reward, (if the brain feels less connected in the community/the self/from friends  it will look for that elsewhere – like food)  then feel guilty afterwards, using exercise as punishment for over eating rather than using it to nourish areas of our brain and having more fun. (e.g. try a new workout, go for a run in the park, go for a 30 min walk everyday, do cartwheels, try handstands, do stuff you did when you were a kid, stop training as if your abs and happiness depended on it)

Work with yourself. Awareness of reactions, emotions, whats lacking, whats missing.

Accept whats missing, work on connection, compassion to yourself, drop the judgements.

Maybe then your brain will no longer need those “think positive” reminders, because it feels safe, connected, better sense of wellbeing and notices threats.

Mel Collie

www.melcollie.com