Tag Archives: motivation

Mel Collie | Weight Loss & Life Skills

Mel Collie | Willpower & Motivation

Think you need more willpower?
Turns out you don’t.
Its very limited, yet we tell ourselves – if only I had more willpower…
Then we feel a failure if we fall off the wagon when we are trying to change something about our lifestyle

So all of this information in these emails are to assist you in finding skills to help you change something you aren’t happy with right now.

No ones perfect, even those who proclaim a perfect life on faceboook aren’t perfect.:)

We feel guilty when we don’t keep to a diet, exercise plan, we berate ourselves.

With nothing to do with willpower but everything to do with skills heres some skills you know already, buy help to change a few habits:

Put your fork down between bites at meal times.
Read the labels of the food you choose to buy
Eat with no distractions- it leaves you feeling unsatisfied and affects digestion.

This 3 simple skills can change a lot of things for your digestive system.
We can be on a healthy diet, but still be stressed and anxious, which crates a build up of Cortisol, so when you eat with less stress and worry, it helps your hormonal cascade be as it should.

So next time you feel like reaching for a diet book or start a healthy eating plan, try changing some skills first then ask yourself better questions, like these…

How confident are you , on a scale of 1 – 10, that you can stick to the plan?
Whatever your answer was…ask yourself – What makes you a ……(insert number you had from the first question) and not a 0

This helps takes you away from being a victim, of seeing any diet in the past you haven’t stuck too or any change in your life that you haven’t wanted to stick to, it changes it from looking like a character flaw, you give yourself permission to be kind to yourself., into believing that it wasn’t a 365 days a year problem.

We believe it stays with us, berating ourselves constantly.

New habits can come about and be maintained by empowering yourself with knowledge, skills and kindness.

Much nicer than restriction, a telling off and hating yourself. Doesn’t get us anywhere, except running around in circles…but you had to run those circles to know that at some point you chose to have enough and seek a change, those circles, in a strange way, are lessons.

Mel Collie

1:1 Personal transformational coaching from Llanberis studio space.

Try it out for 2 weeks for only £85. Application only.

Apply Here for an application form.

Mel Collie | 3 Ways to Be Enough

Mel Collie | 3 Ways to Be Enough

There is a saying , and many other positive ones to add to it, that goes around the social media sites that proclaims that you are enough, and you should know it by now..

Well, its true of course, you are enough, so am I, so is the person that you don’t like very much (that’s a tough one…)

However, many of us don’t believe that we are enough, often.
Reading posts that tell us that we should be reminded that we have a right to be here on the planet, to be heard, to know that we are gorgeous just as we are, don’t sink in when there are other things going on in our life that are harful to our survival.That are threats to our wellbeing and future.

Your brain is a complicated thing.

It only asks you 1 question, can I survive this.

When its not sure, it will slow you down and make you think and do things that you might not choose to do in happier circumstances.

Healthy eating, fitness, your flat ab goal for a summer beach body (thats a whole other story I will touch on next week..) any goals you have, will be put aside whilst your brain puts survival as priority.

Theres no such thing as being weak willed, you are never that.
Ever.
Your brain has a hierarchy of threats, the first one being respiration,, of course when thats reduced it thinks you arent going to be here much longer, so it has to slow you down, your movements, digestion, energy, until its happy your future is no longer under threat of survival.

…even sex goes out the window, the last thing a threatened brain wants is to reproduce, it seeks safety first.

Threats can be as simple as an unexpected bill in the post, moving house, being judged by others, a feeling of disconnect with the family or in the town/village where you live.

The next time you beat yourself up about not feeling that you are enough, look at other areas of life first
1. Good old stress..the S word is common nowadays, but too much and your brain will be stuck in FFF – Fight, Flight or Freeze
2. Cortisol production increases, and with it comes increased belly fat, relaxation, meditation, daily walks, deep breathing, massages, all contribute to lowered cortisol, its not all about how much exercise you do, too much of the wrong kind for your body and you may not be seeing the results you want. be kinder.
3. Friends. Feeling part of the tribe, connection, safety, belonging, cuddles, eye contact, all help increase a hormone called oxytocin. Its made in the brain, in the hypothalamus ( you never know, you might be asked that on Mastermind one day…), too much stress = less oxytocin, the love hormone, helps reduce anxiety, is produced in abundance with human contact, eye contact, during sex , so, to reduce stress, go and cuddle your best mate or other half or the kids right now , ok even your teddy bear if you still have one..(Ive got 6…!)
4. Keep promises. Don’t cancel that massage, don’t cancel the drink with your best mate, dont break promises that you make for yourself. Promised yourself that you would do a few things this year, (remember new years resolutions?) did you want to take up Yoga or Pilates? Did you want to try a new type of food? Did you want to go travelling ? Did you want to read more? Walk more? Go to bed earlier? Have that bath and light those candles and relax more?Doing things for yourself doesn’t mean selfishness, it means you have more of an abundance mindset, so when you are happier and at peace with the self, you have more to give others.

Yes you are enough, but sometimes just reading it and bashing yourself over the head with it isn’t enough.Take a step back and lay some foundations.

Remember, your brain seeks survival. When you recognise that you are stuck in those reactions of fight, flight, freeze, be kind to yourself and take time out. Simple acts of deep slow breathing will send a message to your brain that all is well. Then some of the positive messages might sink in, stay there and you get those “lightbulb” moments 🙂

Mel Collie & Chris Tuck
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Get more lightbulb moments by working with Mel & Chris over at their website, you can discover more here:
www.survivors-of-abuse.com

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

Mel Collie |Happiness for People who Dont Get Positive Thinking

I know, me too, I go for all those cutey photos with words written on them, them 2 seconds later forget them as I stress about the morning ahead, getting things done by the deadline, what to cook for dinner, cleaning the house, making sure everyones happy…etc etc..

Positive thinking, in actual fact, for many of us humans on the planet, doesnt work. Im telling you the truth, and heres the reason why…(the same for setting goals and vision boards…that become invisible boards)

and what you can do about it..

Stick with it, because I’m going to be scientific..

1. Your brain is amazing, you know that already.

2. If you have the following things going on in your life, all those positive quotes will do nothing for you…they will just slide off you like water off a ducks back, so, if you are feeling stuck, if you are struggling, dont believe in yourself, feel threatened, under pressure, frustrated at what others are succeeding in around you, working too hard without a break, worrying about finances, illness, feeling in pain – emotionally as well as physically,  lack of feeling accepted in the community – maybe you’ve just moved house or work, feel like theres a lot of change going on around you.

3. The brain has different areas, and if they are being neglected then they will let you know about it. The reptilian brain is the oldest part – its that survival response, fight or flight, it doesnt care that you want to tone up,eat healthy, weigh less, wear a bikini or whatever your goals are. If it perceives you are under threat, it will kick in, your goals will not be as obtainable as you thought. The mammalian brain processes emotion, it seeks physical wellbeing and safety, is affected by judgements.  The neocortex wants emotional safety, acceptance, eye contact, praise, love.

So when any of these areas in your life are happening – a row in the family, a stressful job, nutritional neglect, judgements from others in the social circle, then the brain will skim over those positive quotes , it can also be something as simple as a change in your life. the body seeks homeostasis, and when it sense this is under threat, then things will change in your response, as all change is a threat to homeostasis Threat can be as simple as something is changing too fast, too slow or something is unclear to you. This threat can manifest as fight, flight freeze. Fight can be increased pain and inflammation, flight can be wanting to run away, turning up late for appointments, and freeze can be simply not moving, staying and feeling stuck not taking action.

Instead, look at your own life and those around you. Ask some question:

What going too fast/slow for you right now

What feels stuck?

Are you getting support, connection, feelings of safety and belonging, how is your self esteem and self image, do you have financial worries, health worries, do you feel shame and blame. More stress = less joy and less care of the self. Stress is indeed more likely to add inches than an iced bun. ( see my last blog on the iced bun revolution !)

When we are anxious, we have less faith in ourselves, which in turn impacts on self esteem. We then use food as a reward, (if the brain feels less connected in the community/the self/from friends  it will look for that elsewhere – like food)  then feel guilty afterwards, using exercise as punishment for over eating rather than using it to nourish areas of our brain and having more fun. (e.g. try a new workout, go for a run in the park, go for a 30 min walk everyday, do cartwheels, try handstands, do stuff you did when you were a kid, stop training as if your abs and happiness depended on it)

Work with yourself. Awareness of reactions, emotions, whats lacking, whats missing.

Accept whats missing, work on connection, compassion to yourself, drop the judgements.

Maybe then your brain will no longer need those “think positive” reminders, because it feels safe, connected, better sense of wellbeing and notices threats.

Mel Collie

www.melcollie.com