Tag Archives: three peaks

Mel Collie | Three ways to overcome Fear

Mel Collie | Three ways to overcome Fear

 

Earlier this year I sold my 4 bed 200 year old house, which I loved, but after a split in a  relationship, it was time to sell the house, which was far too big for me, and downsize, have less money worries and more time for me. So here I am, a few months later, working less hours, even though I’m fortunate to absolutely love what I do, I dont have to work every morning and every evening and worry about paying a rather large mortgage.

The time came that even though I now teach only a couple of Pilates classes a week, I needed a challenge for me.

So after checking out a few charity websites, I decided on a trekking challenge. My bloke mentioned the 3 peaks challenge which sounded like fun, and a great way to see those 3 peaks, the views, and get fit at the same time, we drew up a training programme which meant I would be walking, a lot .every day (currently at week 3 of training and walking about 6 miles a day, ( 10 miles today though) and circuit training for extra stamina using weights and interval training .

Now, I am the same as you, and have my doubts and when the fears creep in, I can easily convince myself that it isn’t important, I can slow the training down, in fact I can do it and not train at all, but you know what?

I’m training, not just for this challenge, but for future trekking challenges I want to do, like an Icelandic and a Sahara desert trek 🙂

Its interesting when you have a deadline each day to see how hard you can push yourself and if you do listen to that negative voice in your head telling you to stop, telling you to go no further, telling you that you are crazy and its nicer to sit at home and be comfortable.

well, yes it is 🙂

But , thats listening to the voice of the fear of failure, the voice that tells you that others will judge you a failure if you cant do something, even if you fail once, that it, you are a failure at everything.

What a load of rubbish

Its those who fail, pick themselves up and go again that are the ones who are the strongest, those who have had the struggles are the ones most qualified to help others.

Many times we ask ourselves – can I do this? What if I fail? What will people think of me?

Heres what I think:

1.Accept that you will fail and that fear of failure is normal, everyone has it, even the most successful people will have the “what if ” brain chatter.

2.Fear will stop you from doing what you want to do, fear that others will ridicule you, make fun of you, laugh at you when really they also face the same fears you do, they too fear all those things like you do, but you are listening to the loud voice that tells you not to make a fool of yourself , and you play it small, missing out on stuff you want to do or showing everyone who you really are, your unique characteristics .

3. Fear is the only thing to fear. It is circular, it comes back that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, its your brains way of trying to keep you alive, these responses are evolutionary from a time you could get killed by just walking outside – animals with big sabre teeth, poisonous berries , other cave men wanting to kill and steal our meat etc – we now live in a  time where those responses aren’t necessary – fear and hate are hooked together,   we’ve been bought up in a warm cosy house, TV, food in the fridge, cosy bed, food in the supermarkets,  and so the fears become twisted, fear of spiders for example, your brain has to have something to exercise its fight flight response, fear is a realisation, its just that, if you realise you are afraid of something you are no longer afraid of it, the thought is irrational.

Once you realise a fear is unfounded, it should be banished forever. Its not an irrational thought, its the most rational thing, the modern fears are unfounded, thats the difference.

Life is easy and not as dangerous as it used to be, the brain, a product of millions of years of evolutionary process to purely keep us alive (fight or flight) cant just shut down, so we look for things to be frightened of.

This will manifest in worries and fears of how we look, what others will think of us, fears our brain makes up to keep its software running and current.

Ask yourself :

Is my fear rational?

Is it a product of my flight/fight mind?

Can I realise it ?

The people who don’t feel fear can be seen as just daydreamers.

Zen.Fear is the absence of Zen.

Once you realise that, there is no going back

Mel Collie

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

 

Mel Collie |Are your actions in line with who you want to be?

Mel Collie |Are your actions in line with who you want to be?

 

I’ve recently started to train for a challenge, and its made me think about a few things…its made me wonder about actions, excuses and if you are actually stuck in a rut, what are you going to do about it? Expect others to help you out? Blame others for not helping you out? Blame the weather?

When I ran Bootcamp sessions, clients started out with great intentions, then the excuses started to come in…why?because life got in the way..the excuses started to come in.

So,when I started to train for the Three Peaks Challenge, it seemed like a good idea at the time. I was looking for something to challenge me, a fitness and health related challenge, to get me off my bum, away from the TV, out in the fresh air, and to earn money for a charity at the same time.

I researched a few charity websites  and their organised challenges, a couple of them I might do next year, but when I chatted to my other half about them, he mentioned the challenge he had done 3 times, the Three Peaks. I knew nothing about this, and when he explained all about it , and that he would help train me, I decided I would go for it.

Week one looked like this:

Monday: 30 minute weights intensity training

Tuesday: 3 mile walk

Wednesday 5 mile walk

Thursday 6 miles

Friday Interval Training with weights

Saturday 6.8 miles

Sunday Day off, bouldering by the sea.

This week looks like this:

Monday 4 hour walk, 40 minute ice skating, 30 minute interval training.

Tuesday 5 mile walk

Wednesday – 4.5 mile walk

Thursday – Interval Training

Friday – 10 mile walk

Saturday – 10 mile walk

Sunday Day off.

I have got a plan for weeks 3 – 10, but I wont bore you with them, however…Tuesday morning, I found I was knackered after such a long day, the 4 hour walk was around the Eden project here in Cornwall, followed by the ice skating session, which Im rubbish at,, but its such a laugh, and thats important, we don’t laugh enough!

Anyway, Tuesday morning, I could’ve had a lie in, I could’ve made excuses, I could’ve told my self ” ah well, you can train tomorrow, its not important, you’ve done quite a bit already, do more next week”

Great excuses, for some, a bit like calling in sick when you cant be bothered. I recognised those excuses, they are just thoughts..

I got my walking boots on and took myself off for a long walk, a strenuous walk, as humans, we are capable of walking at about 3 miles per hour, I was aiming for 4, with a few steep up hill ascents along the way and some great scenary too, my mindset about half way into the walk was ” take a short cut here, go back early” , tempting, but I ignored it, and went on further, reminding myself of why I started this in the first place, the action I would have to do, everyday, to achieve it, and visualising the outcome.

Excuses are just thoughts.

Thoughts …what are they.. they are just thoughts, there to challenge you, to steer you off course, to help you, to keep you stuck, the trick is to embrace the thoughts, step back and see them for what they are, have no atachment to them, sounds tricky?

Try this :

When you have a thought, like I had the though ” you dont want to do a walk today, you are too tired”

I ask ” is that true?”

If the answer comes back as NO, then I get on with the walk, if the answer comes back as Yes, I challenge it, “Really? is it really true?”

Well, no it isn’t, I’m not exhausted, the human body is designed to move, a lot, all day, every day, we do more harm  by doing less.

When Ive challenged my thought, I then ask myself ” who would I be without that thought?”

…and thats the crux of it all…I would be me, doing what I said I would be doing, training for a challenge for charity, I would be happier, content having achieved what I set out to achieve.

It takes work

It means showing up every day

But whats the alternative?

Staying the same…being happy with average. If thats where you are at and are happy with that, then thats ok.

If you arent, then its down to you to show up and do what you said you were going to do.Do the work. Be the change .

If it was easy, then everyone would be doing it. Truth is, they arent  🙂

However,when you are following your desire, your passion, questioning your thoughts, doing the work, you find your path, it becomes easy, because taking the alternative of pain, discomfort, frustration, becomes second best.

Arent you better than settling for that?

Mel

x

www.melcollie.com

www.melcollie.co.uk

References: Byron Katie – the Work.