From Toe­ing the Line to Feeling Embodied

For much of my life, I toed the line.

I was careful with my words.

Aware of other people’s comfort before my own.

I didn’t think of it as silencing myself. I thought of it as being good. Being thoughtful.

And in many ways, I was.

But I was also disconnected from something essential, which was my own embodied truth

The Cost of Always Toeing the Line

When you spend years monitoring yourself, adjusting yourself, softening your edges so that others feel comfortable, something subtle happens.

You start to live from the neck up, but what does that mean?

You think through decisions.

You calculate responses.

You anticipate reactions.

But …. you stop feeling your own internal cues.

You override:

The tightening in your chest.

The hesitation in your belly.

The urge to say, “Actually, no.

Over time, that disconnection becomes normal.

You don’t even realise how much you’re managing yourself.

What Embodiment Actually Feels Like

Embodiment isn’t dramatic.

It’s not shouting your truth at the top of your voice or burning down your life.

Often, it’s much quieter than that.

Embodiment feels like:

• Noticing your shoulders rise and letting them drop.

• Pausing before answering.

• Feeling the difference between tension and steadiness.

• Letting a “no “ be a no

• Allowing anger to move through you, without turning it inward and suppressing it

It feels like inhabiting your body instead of supervising it.

There is more breath.

More space.

More choice

Rebuilding the Bridge Back to Yourself

For me, mindful photography became an unexpected doorway back into embodiment.

Not because of the images themselves , but because of the process.

When I practise noticing light, texture, shadow, and space, I am training myself to stay present.

When I follow what draws my eye without judging it, I practise trusting my impulses.

When I allow an image to be imperfect, I loosen the grip of needing approval.

And when I pair that with gentle somatic practices , a hand on my belly and chest, feeling my feet on the ground, orienting to the space around me , I begin to feel anchored again.

Not in other people’s expectations.

In myself.

The Subtle Shift

The shift from toeing the line to feeling embodied isn’t loud.

It’s subtle.

You notice:

You don’t rush to fill silence.

You don’t automatically apologise.

You check in with yourself before committing.

You feel steadier and calmer when someone disagrees with you.

There is less internal negotiation which you can feel in the unclenching of your stomach

Less self-correction which feels very calming in the jaw

You start responding instead of reacting.

When You’ve Spent Years Being “Good”

If you’ve spent years being the good girl, embodiment can feel unfamiliar at first, it may even feel uncomfortable. It did for me, I felt I was being uncaring and unkind.

Because you’re no longer orienting around everyone else’s reactions.

You’re orienting around your own sensations.

That takes practice.

It takes patience.

This is why I work slowly, and don’t push dramatic change.

Why I focus on small, daily pauses that help the nervous system feel secure enough to listen. ( Go to my courses page for my only self study course 7 Days of Tiny Pauses )

You Are Allowed to Take Up Space

Feeling embodied after a lifetime of toeing the line doesn’t mean becoming difficult or confrontational.

It means becoming honest.

It means letting your body be part of the conversation.

It means trusting that your sensations, your instincts, your quiet inner knowing are not inconvenient — they are wise.

You are allowed to take up space.

You are allowed to have edges.

You are allowed to change your mind.

You are allowed to speak even if your voice shakes.

Embodiment isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about coming home to yourself.

Mel

P.S. When you feel ready , check out my courses page to see what’s coming up and how we can work together